Would you let your DC read your old school reports if they weren't exactly glowing?(12 Posts)
My mother has just found my old school reports.
The Primary School ones are fine, but the Secondary School ones are far from glowing - various "could do much better", "doesn't work hard enough" type comments for virtually everything
However, I did come out with a string of very good O and A levels.
DD just had her first Y7 report and it was cringeingly fantastic <<proud mummy>> DS's reports are less glowing, but still OK.
Have times changed - are teachers just more positive now?
And would it be a bad idea for them to read mine (and DH's similar!) knowing that we did well academically despite doing as little work as possible!
There is not a chance in hell that I would let my dc read my school reports! Maybe I'd let them read the first one from secondary when I did make some effort, but it went seriously downhill from there.
My dc would have no hesitation in throwing my bad reports back at me every time I had to make them do homework or something, so there is no way they would be reading them!
I was a terrible swot and teacher's pet at school and my reports were unfailingly full of praise for my hard work and effort ( if not spectacular results!) So I would be quite happy for my sons to read them ( although the reports of my youngest manage to surpass mine bydint of being a swot AND clever too!)
Mind you, the reports I write for the children I teach will be considered masterpieces of understatement in years to come!
I would let them read mine yes. I am at uni now and hopefully heading for a first. However in school I was far to busy sleeping around to do any school work and I came out with three GCSE's. So yes, I think mine would be a good lesson (particularly to DD) of how not to act a knob and leave one's potential unfulfilled.
Teachers are MUCH more positive now...mustn't hurt the little darlings, not even to make them buck up and put in some work...maybe it's not like that everywhere, but certainly at the schools I've been in, there's no question of there not being safety nets if you get bad marks and there are no consequences for anything, although you get extra points for sticking to the mark scheme (as opposed to thinking for yourself).
You're told you're special when you're just smart, "above average" because "average" means "can't be bothered". False senses of superiority being developed at 12 because you can spell three syllable words correctly and your neighbour can't. Pretty sure that didn't happen 50 years ago.
Worst thing in the world is complacency in primary school and it's happening more and more in kids who are being told they're gifted when they're not (i.e. they'd just be seen as ordinarily intelligent 50 years ago). I hope to see a shift soon because it's not doing the children good. I know a lot of people don't like this viewpoint, but I do think what teachers do is damaging and people don't know it. Cruel to be kind is best.
Bigtilly - I think you're right when you say times have changed. When I was at school there was no such thing as Spin. If you were rubbish at something you knew it.
As for your question, yes, I do think you should let your DC read your reports - it may help them to realise that you're not just a 'mum' and that you were a walking, talking, real person pre-DC!
Quirrelquarrel - Spot on! Great post. I totally agree.
Oh -definitely-have a good laugh. It does them good to know that you were young once, didn't have all the answers and you can fail and pick yourself up.
I remember reading my father's reports as a DC and they didn't mince their words in those days!
When MIL went into the nursing home, we found dh's old school reports and dd read them with great appreciation: basically year after year of teachers at his rather good private school gently hinting that he would need to put some work in. She knows he failed his exams; possibly his teachers should have been a little more outspoken.
Dd works much harder, but her reports from secondary school are far more target-focused than dh's (which we like). Her reports from junior school were mainly complaints about her attendance (chronic health problems). They don't worry about upsetting the little dears when they tell a chronically ill child how low attendance will ruin her chances of learning: that is something they were always happy to point out. Dd ignored them and got good results anyway.
No- it might undermine my authority!
Tbh, my school reports were all OK, but again as others have said, they come from a different era (I was at GS between 73-80) when they called a spade a spade!
Look at Roald Dahl's school reports. Bottom of the lass in English, no potential etc. Someone could make a very amusing collection of school reports of famous people.
It's good to show these to kids upset bu mediocre reports and tell them teachers don't always get it right.
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