"Uses his brain only when all else fails". That one was turned down by the school as too negative. It meant this child is lazy and will copy if possible. However if he is working on his own then he can produce good work.
"DS1 is an extremely confident child" = DS is cocky pain in the neck know-it-all
"DS2 is continuing to to progress in his concept of sharing, with close support and supervision" = we shout at DS2 when he snatches toys from other children all the time or cries when it's their turn on his favourite toy.
"DS 2 is a cheerful little boy who loves playing outdoors" = DS hates classwork and gives us the slip into the outdoor play area whenever possible.
DS 2 is continuing to make progress with close support and supervision during carpet time" = WTF won't your child sit still when we tell him a story?
Ds first report "ds is often surprised to find that the school rules apply to him too" The following year "ds is beginning to develop an understanding of the school rules and why they are in place" Slow progress!!!!
And who can forget Mr Hughes in woodwork/metalwork who wrote 'Cortina is a capable pupil who has had a good year'. Just the one line, thing is when we opened our reports on the way home it was the same one line for at least a dozen of us Reports were in a booklet and each teacher had a page to fill.
Aawww febreeze My games report once said, "if she worked as hard at games as she does at getting out of it then we might see some progress!"
The first school I worked in had a strict policy that reports had to sound positive. It was ridiculous. I ended up writing things like:
"X is lively in class and has used his imagination creatively in practical tasks" = "X is disruptive and talentless"
"X contributes enthusiastically to class discussion" = X never shuts up
"X explains his thought processes well and now needs to develop his written work to match the depth of understanding demonstrated through his oral responses" = X refuses to put pen to paper unless under extreme duress.
Where I work now we're allowed to tell it like it is :D
In the reception foyer at my school they have a display about the history of the school. They found an old report from the 1950s and have it framed on the wall. Comments then would definitely NOT be allowed now!
"xxx is backward when it comes to English."
I must admit to being a bit envious of those teachers - 2 lines per subject! I'm currently battling my way through 300 reports and each one has to be 10-12 lines