If another child deliberately weed all over your child at school, would you expect to told what had happened?

[nonplussed]

Changed my name for this as I have a feeling fellow parents at ds's school use mnet.

At first, I assumed it was an accident, but it's become clear that another child weed deliberately on ds (in reception age 4). His top, trousers, socks and shoes were soaked in it all - he was sent home with the clothes in a bag. The incident itself isn't really bothering me too much, but the fact that the teacher didn't tell me about it is bothering me. I thought she might have had a quick word to explain.

Don't know if I'm being a bit prissy about this - what do you think?

[SoupDragon]

I'd expect to be told what had happened but not who did it.

[piffle]

yes I would expect to be told!

[SoupDragon]

How did you find out what happened if the teacher didn't tell you?

[nonplussed]

Ds has told me all about it in great detail - was quite bothered about it.

Now, I know that 4 year olds can tell tall stories, but I teach this age group and am a master at establishing truth from fiction from them !

[skinnycow]

yes i would expect to be told too - and I would make it my business to find out who did it.

[LIZS]

that is vile - yes I 'd expect to be told.

[rummum]

I would expect to be told and for my son to have an apology....
thats gross...

[SoupDragon]

Have you established what year the wee-ing child is in?

[nonplussed]

Same age, same class.

I realise that there may be some behavioural issues about the child who did it, which is why I'm being "measured" about the incident itself.

He called ds a "piece of poo" and then weed all over him.

Eek - will have to have a word with the teacher, naming no names (I do know the child's name), relate what ds said happened, if she confirms it all, I'll then say I expect to be told about this sort of thing in future (sigh).

[Enid]

would be straight into the teacher tomorrow morning, behavioural issues or no behavioural issues. That is vile.

[SoupDragon]

Our school has a definite What Not Who policy which I think is fair (and your child always fills you in later anyway). Did the teacher/assistant see what happened? That might be why she's not said anything as she can't establish the truth. Don't know... I'd expect to be told what happened and that it had been dealt with.

[nonplussed]

It's not something I've come across before while teaching this age group - children can be unpleasant to each other, but this is a bit disturbing. Trying not to be upset about it .

[Enid]

What not Who? So does that mean they can't tell anyone off directly?

[SoupDragon]

No - they tell you what happened but only that it was "another child"

[Trifle]

I have to say I find this the vilest form of abuse. I can understand kids getting frustrated and lashing out but to stand there, deliberately get his willy out and knowingly urinate over another child is totally unacceptable. Why skirt around the issue of who the child is? I am appalled at the way the school have dismissed something so personal. I would at least expect the parents of the boy concerned to be hauled into school and a full explanation given to you.

[NotQuiteCockney]

I think every school has that one - you don't want parents telling each other off, I guess? Or being horrid to the child in question?

[SoupDragon]

Abuse??! The perpetrator is under 5!

[SoupDragon]

It's not nice and the behaviour needs to be stamped on but it's not abuse!

[NotQuiteCockney]

Oh, I do think nonplussed should have been told what happened, at least as much as the teachers know. Realistically, it's unlikely they were there, or they presumably would have stopped it.

[NotQuiteCockney]

But I don't think nonplussed should be a) told officially who did it b) given any sort of official meeting with the "perpetrator" or his parents!

As she says, there's obviously some sort of behaviour issue here, on the part of the kid who did it.

[Crazymama]

Would expect an explanation from the school about how they deal with this behaviour. By not saying anything to you, its almost like they tolerate it.

[BudaBabe]

That's terrible! My DS is in Reception and I would be horrified if that happened. And if there are behavioural issues with the child that did it, he is obviously not been supervised enough. That is totally debased behaviour in my view. I am not surprised your poor DS was bothered.

I would talk to the teacher AND the head.

[firestorm]

i agree with Trifle 100% i am appalled at the way the school have just dismissed this like its nothing

[rummum]

please tell me this happened in the toilet and not the playground or classroom..

[HuggyBear]

I'd be really angry id any child pissed on my ds1. I think id expect to be told and also that the childs parents were called into school to discuss his obvious issues and see what can me done to sort them out. I would also like a nice little note saying sorry from the four year old to my ds, just a picture or something.