DD1 not happy at pre school

[Mirage]

DD1 was 2 at the end of August & started pre school the same week.The pre school is in the next village & the children attending spend some time in the reception class,so that when they start 'proper' school,it is not such a big thing.

DD1 goes 1 morning a week & until half term,I am going with her.After that,she will go on her own.She has several friends there & the other children are all lovely,but DD1 appears to hate it.

If I talk about going to school,she either says 'no' or refuses to talk about it.If anyone asks her about anything she did or who she played with,she stays silent.When we are there,she cries & screams & won't let go of me & goes into orbit if another child holds my hand or sits on my knee.When they do singing,she cries & shouts at them to stop it.The past few weeks,I have tried to gradually withdraw-go in the kitchen ect,but she comes looking for me & crying for me not to leave her.

She has been quite happy running off & playing at toddler groups & rarely even looks to see if I'm still there.She has never been to nursery or a childminder-the only people she has ever been left with are my mum & sister & she has never dried when left with them.

I don't know whether to keep persisting in taking her in the hope that she will settle down,or to let her stay at home.I am dreading leaving her there after half term,knowing how unhappy she is.

Anyone have a smilar experience?What did you do?

[marne]

Havn't had this experience yet, dd is 21 months i would like to send her when she is 2.5. I think if i was you i would take her out and try again in a few months, she is still very young, i would continue taking her to toddler group and maybe try leaving her with a friend and see how she gets on. But thats just my opinion.

[LIZS]

tbh I suspect once a week is not really long enough to get her into the routines and learn to rely upon other adults. She may be better ironically when you leave her, hard though it might be on both of you at first. If she knows you are around she'll look fro you but if she does it when you are not available she has to learn to cope and will probably settle.

Are there a lot of other children or is it a small group of around the same age. Could she be overwhelmed by the boisterousness of others and the number of children ? If so can take a break and wait a term or two. she amy simply not bne ready for it yet and you shouldn't feel under pressure to force the issue if you and she aren't comfortable.

[littleshebear]

I wouldn't bother persisting if she is upset, even if all the other children are fine at the age of 2. Just go with your instincts.

She will change so much in the next six months and will probably be quite happy to be left then. My daughter has just started pre-school at 2.10mths and is fine but I don't think I could have left her at 2.

My two sons were the same - hated to be left - but I did leave them because I had to work/study and it did take them months to settle fully.

[stripey]

She sounds quite young to be at pre-school and visiting a Recepion class. I think at 2 play should be the main focus. Maybe I am thinking it is more formal than it is because it is called a pre-school. My only experience was putting ds1 into a Montessori nursery at 2 which was far too formal and strict for him. He absolutely hated it, when he was 2.5 he started at Playgroup and loved it so much he would ask to go on the weekends.

Every child is differnt and it may be fine for some children but not for others. See how she is in the next few weeks and then decide. Maybe she will settle better when you leave her.

[freakyzebra]

Mine would never have been happy at that age; in fact, DS1 was very unhappy but I sent him anyway and I really regret it now. Would not do it, myself.

Mine weren't happy to be left in a pre-school type environment until they were over 3 (ds1) or almost 4 (dd).

[foxinsocks]

she's quite young for pre-school - round here they would start at 3 (or maybe 2 and a half). To be visiting reception, they would probably be nearer 3 and a half/4.

I would just take her out and try again when she's a bit older.

[HAPPYFACE]

i started my dd at 2 and because i'd never left her other than with my mum etc and she was very clingy, wouldn't go more than a metre away from me in mother and baby groups! my neighbour had recommended the nursery, her son had gone there and her daughter was still there which helped a bit.
however she was the worst case they had experienced! she would stand in the corner and cry, shouting "i want my mummy" they used to call me to get her after only an hour! i felt guilty because i don't work so she could have stayed at home but we felt she needed something and were trying for a second baby!
it took 6 mths with a month break in the middle, which i used to get her out of nappies because she wouldn't let them change her without a fight!
still she loves it now, shes 4 in nov and our ds is 14 mths, now were worried about primary school! our ds will start at the same nursery next year but he is already showing hes different, he will go off over the other side of the room to play and just look round sometimes to see i'm still there.
so after all this writing i think stick with it is the way to go.

[Mirage]

Sorry-I am so sleep deprived,I forgot to check this thread again.

Thankyou to everyone who responded.I think I'll give it a few more weeks & see how it goes.If there is no improvement she can stay at home with me or with my sister when I'm back at work.I don't want to make her unhappy.I know that I hated to be away from people I knew as a child-would never go to kids clubs ect.

I thought 2 may be a bit young,but the helpers there keep going on about another little girl who is a week younger than dd1 & saying how she has settled in with no fuss ect ect,but I keep thinking that she may have been to nursery & used to being left.It makes me a bit cross when they keep harping on about how good xxxxx is,whilst looking at my dd clinging to me.

Oh well-rant over.We'll see how it goes.