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Do your dc have idals/a set of values? If so , could you tell me what?

(12 Posts)
ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 09:24:26

Just been musing on this after reading the royal wedding/army threads. Thinking how in the past,say when QEII was crowned, it would have been perhaps quite widespread for people to admire the monarchy, be patriotic etc.

Some people were saying (myself included) that they are not royalists and they don't feel any connection to the idea of a royal family. I certainly don't although I do admire Queen Elizabeth personally. I think she will be a very hard act to follow. I just think we don't need a royal family and that having one perpetuates the whole divisive class structure which I dislike.

Then on the army thread, people were talking about being proud to serve "Queen and country" even being prepared to die for the same and I wondered how I felt about that. I don't know if I have a sense of duty towards my Queen and country. Not sure really.

Do you? Do your children? Do your children have some ideal they would be aiming towards emulating, some kind of clear set of values (from religion or otherwise). I just wonder about this, are they patriotic? Do they have a sense of honour or duty or do they ever think at all about what is noble to aspire to etc? I suppose in the past these values were transmitted to children via religion, reinforced by school and in some manner at home. Nowadays I don't know.

ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 09:25:06

lol sorry about confusing thread title : supposed to read ideals (not idals, idols or something like that!)

ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 09:36:21

sorry If I am rambling too much, just thinking too about "the law". Do your children respect the law, think it is important to follow the law (or would they bend it if convenient)? How do they see the police?

I remember going for a walk in Berlin during the May Day riots (involves ripping up of cobblestones, smashing cars, throwing the stones in shop windows , at police etc, yearly occurence), police were all over the place in riot gear. I asked one for directions and aftewards my Moroccan friend was looking at me in astonishment. He said when he was growing up in the outskirts of Paris, the police would have been the enemy and no one would have dreamt of adressing a policeman. I wonder how our young people see the police

cory Fri 26-Nov-10 10:22:11

My dcs have a respect for the law and for other people as human beings. To them, this is not associated with loyalty to the Queen or their country, but with a basic respect for people. Nor is it associated with religion. They know that policemen are human beings like the rest of us and that they can make mistakes, just as teachers can (or parents), but they would never regard someone as "the enemy" just because of their job.

ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 13:11:11

sort of secular humanism.

I find it interesting. When they are small, they tend to do what they think pleases you and gets your approval but later fromtheir teens on, I don't know what (if anything at all really) guides them.

I am not particular trying to promote royalism/patriotism/religion etc but I am curious what (if anything) has replaced all that for young people today.

I don't know if the majority of teenagers feel honour bound to do anything. Maybe they do, I really don't know. I don't even think I did really as a teenager

ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 13:13:49

also been talking to a friend of mine whose dd was at school inthe US for 3 years (primary) and she was telling me how the school children would have to swear allegiance to the flag (hand on their heart etc), sing patriotic songs at times during the school year. When I meet adult Americans they do seem much more patriotic in the way they speak about their country than most Brits I know. I wonder if it is down to that kind of thing at school training children towards it from early on. Also not sure whether I like it

inkyfingers Fri 26-Nov-10 17:05:19

it's interesting that you mention a number of things you're NOT into - queen, religion, army, etc. maybe they are things your kids can decide for themselves, but I'd make sure that values and ideals you do hold are made explicit to them. They may pick up on them, but not tell them what you think about how people treat each other, what you think about society and how it's played out a lot in benefit cuts at the moment etc, etc.

I've often heard that if we don't tell our kids our values, the nasty world outside certainly will.

My parents had a lot of unstated (British) values that weren't particularly royalist etc, but I do remember them saying they never bought veal on principle (animal cruelty)!

there are a lot of values out them I don't like - celebrity culture, and kids thinking money will come easy etc, that make me want to be explicit when I feel strongly about something.

cat64 Fri 26-Nov-10 17:21:07

Message withdrawn

ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 19:36:53

inky I am not against the army and I am religious in that I have an active faith. I am not a royalist though that's true. Sorry if I come across so garbled!

ZZZenAgain Fri 26-Nov-10 19:51:59

I see what you mean Cat

What I am wondering is what the majority of young people believe, think about, aspire to these days (if anything). I really don't know.

cat64 Fri 26-Nov-10 21:53:06

Message withdrawn

preciousmum Sat 27-Nov-10 23:06:41

very interesting subject.).Sorry englesh is not my first language ,but i do understund more than putting my words together into sentences.

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