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Is it a given that kids find the transition to secondary really hard?

(18 Posts)
ForMashGetSmash Tue 09-Nov-10 23:23:27

I see so many threads on here about DC struggling with the change...making friends and all it alway so hard? Do some kids breeze it?

Mine are only 6 and 2 but I KNOW (hope) that I will wake up one day and remember writing this...or thinking about it..and say "Huh? What happened? how come my cild is sudenly at BIG school? it alway tough?

gorionine Tue 09-Nov-10 23:25:43

Yes, some do breeze it.

DD1 started this September and I have never seen her so happy. she made friends the first day and is exited about going every morning (not sure hoew long that bit will lastsmile)

ForMashGetSmash Tue 09-Nov-10 23:27:08

Ooh that's nice to hear gorionine, is it private or state and did she already know some kids?


exexpat Tue 09-Nov-10 23:31:01

Transition to secondary was pretty smooth for DS - only one other boy from the same primary joined the same secondary school, but he made friends quickly, really enjoyed all the new academic stuff from the start and settled in fast. Dealing with the organisation and time management for homework etc took a bit longer to get sorted, but wasn't a huge issue.

But this is a relatively small (500-ish) private school with a very friendly, supportive atmosphere, which is why we chose it - not sure if it would have been quite so smooth if he'd gone to one of the mega 2,000-pupil schools around here.

gorionine Tue 09-Nov-10 23:35:38

It is the local state one. 1000 pupils, she knew about 20 (scattered over 4 classes), but was really keen on meeting new people from the word go.

ForMashGetSmash Tue 09-Nov-10 23:46:00

Oh good! Nice to hear some positive experiences...I think some kids just find it easier don't they? Change and making friends can be tough but at this young age I suppose most kids are very open.

Litchick Wed 10-Nov-10 09:01:00

DD had such a fabulous time at prep that I was bloody dreading the transition.
Particularly, as it was much further away so means a very early start,none of her cohort were joining her, and, for the first time, DD would be leaving her twin.

But do you know what? It's been a doddle.
The school have done absolutely everything in their power to make it easier. The new girls are very friendly, and the Mums too.

It helps that the year is only a 60 girl entry ( split into four groups of 15 ). But I was also eager for DD to mix with everyone, so really encouraged her to join in as much as possible.

She is now in the netball, LAX and cross country squad and a memeber of the drama club.

Job done.

Goingspare Wed 10-Nov-10 09:53:27

My daughter started secondary school last year and has loved (almost, let's be realistic) every minute of it. She was ready to leave her small primary school and make a fresh start, and she threw herself into life at the new school, with its greater opportunities for sports and activities. The group of friends she is with now are not quite the same as the ones she started off with, but there's been no fall-outs or unpleasantness; they've just gradually got to know the people they feel most comfortable with.

She is at a smallish, mixed, selective state school, but most of her old primary school friends are thriving at their various schools (5 of them, all state), including the biggest of the local high schools.

titchy Wed 10-Nov-10 10:02:48

dd started in September and has loved every minute of it. Like a lot of children she'd grown out of year 6 at her small primary and was definitely ready to move on.

Went with three other kids but has joined clubs and made loads of new friends!

BecauseImWorthIt Wed 10-Nov-10 10:03:48

Both DC transitioned with absolutely no problems whatsoever.

GypsyMoth Wed 10-Nov-10 10:07:48

we have 3 tier system here

lower...reception to yr 4
middle...yr5 to yr8
upper...yr9 to 6thform

so no big changes really....middle school is like a mini secondary.....uniform,separate classes/teachers for different subjects. so at age 9 they move up. get sch bus etc. teaches proper responsibility alot earlier than age 11,and all my kids have thrived!

downside i suppose is that from year 5 onwards there is little in the way of 'play'. no random painting,drawing etc,all structured into proper art classes,french,history etc.

serenity Wed 10-Nov-10 10:31:41

DS1 started State Secondary last year (160 pupils per year) and we had no problems at all, once he got the hang of remembering books etc (I had a couple of weeks of getting him to doublecheck before he left each morning)

He was the only one to go from his Primary School, but he made friends easily even though he's usually quite quiet. He much prefers the structure of Secondary School.

4madboys Wed 10-Nov-10 10:37:42

my eldest started this sept and he is LOVING it, has gone from a small primary into a school where in his year group he is one of 250 kids! and not had a problem at all, tho he has a map of the school as its big.

but really he is loving it, the school had lots of settling in session before they went and they are actively involved with local primaries having the kids in to do activities etc my ds2 who is in yr4 has been there for a day recently to do some design technology, there are also sports events and lots of open days where the children can go and look around, do activities etc.

i was worried about it but have been REALLY impressed with how it has all been handled by the school, they really seem to know what they are doing

ShoshanaBlue Wed 10-Nov-10 13:52:10

My niece started high school some time ago and it went really smoothly. They, like us, had a very strict feeder school system so the links with the high school were there for years.

I chose my primary school with the feeder high school in mind (knowing that I couldn't change it) and I think that events start to happen in the local high school from year 2 (different festivals/sports competitions for the feeder schools). I suspect pretty much nearly everyone transfers to the school. My little girl is only tiny but I suspect I will be really worried/traumatized by the time she reaches 11.

Stricnine Wed 10-Nov-10 14:45:53

We went very smoothly from Primary to quite large Secondary - well set out feeder system meant that the five primaries involved had all taken part in events at the secondary prior to starting (including two induction days where they followed a timetable and found their way around etc).. The schools worked really hard help with the transition and now in her 3rd secondary year (we're Scottish) she's still happy (as much as you can be) with going to school!

GrimmaTheNome Wed 10-Nov-10 14:56:15

My DD started GS this sept - absolutely loves it. She only knew 2 girls when she started, neither in her class but that doesn't seem to have been a problem.

She was absolutely knackered some evenings for the first few weeks, she has a long bus journey (but she really enjoys it, gassing with the girls!)

All her cohort in yr6 just seemed ready for their move up - hard to imagine when they're little, but it happens!

ampere Wed 10-Nov-10 15:48:14

Glad the offerings here aren't ALL along the lines of 'DD managed the transition beautifully, she went from her 10 per class prep to the 13 per class Upper, a school of 150- there have been no issues at all! The tutor came away to St Lucia with us over the summer to help her transition.....' etc grin

The 60 DC year 6 group feeding a 250+ strong Y7 is perhaps more a common experience!

From what I've seen, such primaries and the secondaries appear to do a very good job in helping DCs settle- it's in their interest, after all. I know of 3 different Y7 DCs at 3 different schools, all of whom have been absolutely fine and none were the life and soul of their primaries.

ForMashGetSmash Thu 11-Nov-10 10:16:00

Grimma that sonds great....nice to hear children dont always need to comfort of a ready made peer group.

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