Will my son be teased for bringing in a packed lunch to secondary school?

[tigermoth]

I get the impression that at my son's new secondary school, children don't bring in packed lunches.

When we were shown around last team, there was no mention of packed lunch arrangements. We were shown the canteen, and its varied menu was really promoted by the staff, but we were not shown any eating areas for those who had their own food.

When my son went for his induction day day, he was expressly told to bring in lunch money for the canteen.

ds is definitely under the impression that bringing packed lunches into school is uncool and few children do it, if any.

Last term, all the children in his Y6 primary school class was given a 'getting used to secondary school' magazine. It was apparently written by other children, with lots of tips about settling into big school. In the 'do's and don'ts' list it stated 'don't arrive on your first day with a pack of little sandwiches made by your mum'

Now I am happy for ds to have some canteen meals, but they are definitely more expensive than the packed lunches I would give him and I would like to feel I could send him in to school with a packed lunch sometimes as well.

The canteen menu, while it contains healthy salads and 'meat and two veg' meals, also serves chips, hot dogs and donuts. On his induction day, my son told me with much delight, how he had feasted on the biggest hot dog he'd ever seen followed by a large donut.

He says he will choose the healthy options, and admittedly, he does like a lot of 'proper' food.... but I am not convinced he will make the right choices when faced with donut temptation He has a big appetite and often used to ask for second helpings of school dinners (especially puddings), until I stopped it by giving him a packed lunch each day.

Is this the end of my influence over his lunch time choices?

[mumtosomeone]

lots take packed lunches!
Alot buy on the way into school as they pass a supermarket.
Some have school diners!

[Twiglett]

yes it is but hopefully he has learned healthy eating habits

don't make him into a figure of fun when all the signs tell you sending him in with sandwiches will do that

let him settle in for a term or a year then do it

I hate letting go .. but then ago DS is only 4.5 and due to start primary so think I can still be control queen for a while longer

[Tiggiwinkle]

Mine have all taken packed lunches to secondary school-as did many of their friends. On the occasions they did have school lunch, they found they had to queue so long they had no time to eat it!

[mumtosomeone]

send him with money to start with then he and his friend can decide.
Mine swap according to timetable!!
Year 7 get into lunch first!

[Hattie05]

I'm afraid it is the end of your influence over his choices!!

Don't you remember being at senior school? All my money got spent in the vending machine which incidently i think should be banned from all schools but doubt it will be.

[tigermoth]

that's interesting mumtosomeone - I definitely did not get that impression from my son's school. Do the children with packed lunches eat in the canteen too? I assume this is what happens, but haven't been told so.

I had intended to give him sandwiches each day, with a little money on top - but not enough to buy a big lunch from the canteen, so he'd have to eat his packed lunch. I don't know if this is the best way forward? Or should I give him crisps and a drink say, with money to buy a proper meal from the canteen, and trust that he does this?

[Twiglett]

no give him lunch money at least for first week

please give him lunch money

you have been warned by children in magazine not to do the packed lunch thing ..

don't do it

[pootlepod]

My sister sent my niece in with both a lunch and money for the first few weeks. That way whoever she made friends with she could have lunch with IYSWIM. Might be an idea? Or to make the lunch as less mumsy as possible, i.e. a roll which from afar may look as if it was bought from the canteen.

[tigermoth]

don't worry twiglett - my son's coolness will stay intact in the first week, as I have already said he can have canteen money to start with, but I really don't know what will happen after that. Day in, day out, it's expensive. And why are packed lunches getting such bad publicity at secondary school? - at primary school no one said packed lunches were uncool.

[happymerryberries]

Let him have the cash for the first few weeks.

That way he will have made his friends and can then be more of an individual IYSWIM

In the school i work in the kids with packed lunches eat in the main canteen with all the other kids....it is a self service system anyway

[happymerryberries]

tigermoth, while it is 100% true that most kids are great, put them in a group and pack mentality can take over and they can be little shits to each other! Anything that makes a child satnd out....except being good at footie can be used as an excuse for teasing. Sorry but this is true!

With time, when he has his mates and is more at home in the new setting he can be more of an idividual, but kids like to be one of the pack.....whatever they may say to the contrary

[Pixiefish]

Quite a few kids at my last school took packed lunches. But 3/4 had school dinners- this was because 70% had free school dinners. Perhaps send him in with money on his first day so that he can do either, whichever is comfortable for him.

[potty1]

My dd is taking money on her first day. But lots of the children at her secondary take sandwiches. DS2 used to take money when his bag was to full to fit in his buttie box

[noddyholder]

I have been thinking about this too but my ds says he wants to take packed lunch and his friends seem to be half and half I agree with the others and I'm sure he'll be able to gauge it after a few days I know ds's new school has a similar system but I know he would eat the c**p so does he so we have agreed on packed lunch with odd days when he can buy from the canteen I can't believe he is going to big school to be honest I am having a tough time accepting my baby is growing up I AM SAD I KNOW!!No more little bear honey biscuits in his lunch I suppose

[tigermoth]

well, I'll have to hope that the canteen queues are so long that ds quickly gets fed up with buying his food.

I do take your point, happymerryberries, about not making him stand out. I can see how the pack mentality would work here. I guess the I must hope he makes some friends asap, so he can go back to packed lunches.

I will definitely be telling him that his canteen days are numbered, though.

[nightowl]

if i remember rightly at my secondary school there were about 400 seats in one room to eat a packed lunch. (no-one ever did).

or the tiny school canteen-about 200 seats. first come first served. if you got there last..tough luck. no seat and no food. choice of hot food, little junk food bar or salad bar (again, no takers).

bear in mind there were 10 classes of about 20 children in each of the five year groups.

most of us just went to the shop and bought cakes. it was a rubbish arrangement.

[calebsmummy]

My ds starts today (I must stop saying that it makes me well up every time I do )

We are giving him lunch money as we didn't really know, but felt if everyone else is, then we didn't want him to stand out. Also he is very excited at the prospect of being able to have a wide choice of lunch. We will do this until he decides otherwise. How much lunch money do they need though?

Agree that the vending machines should be banned, kids will eat too much junk from them. I am hoping as my son eats a good varied diet, he will choose the 'right' things at lunchtime. He loves pasta

Right gotta go, welling up again!!!!

[wordgirl]

My ds is leaving in approx 5 minutes! I have given him money today but as tigermoth says it is expensive - I gave him £3 when he went for his induction day and apparently it wasn't enough! I was hoping just to fall back on school dinners when I couldn't be bothered to make a packed lunch.

[firestorm]

wow! £3 wasnt enough. how on earth can anybody manage it? especially if you have 2 or more kids at secondary school?
weve got 5 years until our first dd goes to secondary school, hopefully her`s is one that you can get away with having a packed lunch without running the risk of being beaten up for it

[cod]

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[cod]

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[tigermoth]

that sounds and interesting arrangement cod.

Snap wordgirl - I gave my son £3.00 too for his induction day and he also told me it wasn't enough. And guess what cost the most money? All the healthy, 'proper' food of course!

I simply can't be giving him £5.00 a day every day - that's over £100 a month!

[cod]

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[tigermoth]

Honestly? you're not having me on?

[Thomcat]

bLIM EY, THINGS HAVE CHANGED, i HAD NO IDEA THAT (whopps), packed lunches were so uncool. I was gonna say as long as you don't give it to him in a bob the builder luch box and matching flask it'll be fine, but it seems a lot more serious than that, blimey. How tricky. Have you decided what you'll do? Is he good mates with another boy there whose mum you get on well woth, could the 2 of you do packed lunches 2 or 3 times a week together on agreed days and trust them to be sensible the rest of the week?