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How to deal with this buyer! Please help :0)

(20 Posts)
Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 09:16:34

OK, to cut a very long story short, sold a dress (BNWT) middle of July. Took several e-mails to finally get payment, and then the inevitable e-cheque. Still, ok with that as got money in the end.
Buyer asks if I can send out asap as she wants dress for her hols. Do so, and send first class recorded as have a funny feeling about this one...How right I was.. E-mail from buyer last night (3 weeks later), quite aggressively asking where the dress was and demanding a refund shock. To clarify, dress was sent out on 15th August and would have required a signature. I e-mailed seller to tell her this the day it was sent out. Thankfully I still have the receipt.
I've sold a lot on e-bay and tbh have never come across this before (lucky I know). I have replied explaining that the PO will need to investigate etc etc, and expressing surprise that she has taken so long to get in touch (esp as dress for for hols..hmm. Is it as simple as hols now being over and dress no longer needed or am I being cynical?? How would you handle this? Stupidly I couldn;t sleep last night becaise of this - not good with a newborn baby!

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 09:36:47

Diege, stay cool is the first thing. Ok? Are you cool? Good. smile

Been through this kind of thing a bit...

what you need to do is wait for her to do the running.

You have rpesumably tracked the item online? Using barcode number on receipt. This will say what happened to it.

It's possible RM ahs tried to return it to you or is keeping it in her local depot.

You can sit back really because you have proof of delivery, if you can track it online. She can piss off if she's scamming, and if she isn't, she will have to let you sort it out with RM and you'll get compensation if it's been lost by them.

What's the tracking say?

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 09:39:15

You may well find that you hear no more from her now she knows you have tracking.

You have covered yourself, anyway so no need to worry - whatever has happened it's not your problem, or fault, and nothing bad can happen to you. Not sure about feedback, you might be unlucky there but you can always leave a follow up comment saying you have tracked it and she's being disingenuous. People will see it and know who's fibbing.

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 09:39:54

grin Yes, must stay cool....Haven't checked tracking yet as leaving for hosp appointment any minute, will do so this afternoon. Thanks for the advice - yes, must take things one step at a glad I sent recorded!!

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 09:50:29

Don't worry Diege. You'll be just fine, she is probably playing a little 'let's see how stupid the seller is' game, and you're not, so she will be quite disappointed grin

Just keep it close to your chest, track your parcel, sort it out with RM if need be, and keep her waiting a little. She wants you to panic, but you have no need to.

Let her chase you.
Keep me informed!

aristocat Thu 10-Sep-09 10:20:35

excellent advice from HBC
parcel may have gone missing, but you are covered because was sent recorded.
TBH 3 wks is a long time before asking where it is hmm
good luck !!!

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 13:21:00

Ok, an update!! Have tracked parcel and it says that it's being returned to sender hmm. Delivery attempted day after it was sent, and finally sent back to parcel centre on Sept 1st. So it seems that the buyer will have had a card but for some reason hasn't collected or arranged redelivery hmm.
So what now? She said it 'hadn't arrived' but presumably a card was left?? Arghh!!!!

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 13:42:53


if she had a card but didn't collect it, it's been sitting in her sorting office for 3 weeks. Not your fault!

At least she isn't trying it on.

You need to email her the tracking number so she can see for herself.

Maybe they didn't leave her a card - has been known - i'd ask her if she wants you to resend it in which case she needs to pay a second round of shipping, or at least contribute if she says there was no card.

RM do get things wrong. You could also send it to her again but claim compensation from RM by ringing them up - if they left no card or tried wrong address etc.
Check ehr address first in case it was wrong.

If she's changed her mind about the item you could also mutually cancel the transaction.

See how you get on. What a pain in the arse!

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 13:46:42

Thanks, great advice again smile. I have a feeling that she is going to demand a refund - where do I stand on that do you think? Don;t think she'll want a summer dress now (in fact, she probably didn;t want it when she won it iyswim) She's not replied to my original e-mail, so will wait to hear back before plunging in!

nickelbabe Thu 10-Sep-09 13:47:13

although, she might have deliberately not collected the parcel so that she could say it had never arrived.

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 13:50:47

NICKEL, that's my feeling too. I am sure I am doomed to get neg feedback here, through no fault of my own (I even sent recorded at my own cost)but if that's the case so be it sad

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 13:51:00

Good point Nickelbabe...good point.

I don't think you are obliged to refund her but she may refuse to pay for reposting it. This is always a tricky situation and the guys on the Ebay answer boards would be more able to help you out, I've not had this happen recently so not sure what best practise is.

You need to sign in with your usual ebay ID before you can post a q. tick 'watch this question' and all replies get emailed to you. They are a good bunch, I used to be on there a lot helping out but have forgot a fair bit now!

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 13:53:38

Ah. Just thought, if she doesn't pay for resending it, and you have tracked proof of attempted delivery, Paypal won't touch it - so she can't claim the cost of the dress back by opening a claim, as they'll see attempted delivery and tell her to stuff it.

So you could in theory hold out on her, either she couhgs up for reposting it or she loses her dress and money.

Depends how much her fault you reckon it is, tbh.
They may not have left a card. If she says she stillw ants it get her to pay for the postage or at least half. You shouldn't be out of pocket for this. Or as I said claim the difference back from RM if no card was left.

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 13:54:56

Also she ought to have got onto it earlier and asked you where it was. She sounds a bit dodgy to me.

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 13:58:01

Interesting (and thanks for link). Is there anyway of determining if a card was left? Do I simply have to take her word for it that it wasn't (if that's what she will claim)? I'm 99% sure she won't want the dress anyway. Should I get in there first and e-mail her back, or just wait to hear from her (she knows now that it was sent recorded, in fact she knew the day it was sent out...)?

SoupDragon Thu 10-Sep-09 13:58:42

If the dress comes back I would refund the cost of the dress, not the P&P, if she doesn't pay for it to be sent again.

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 13:59:32

Yes, agree, esp as she made such a song and dance about needing it for hols...hmm And there was I with 3 under 7's and a newborn baby rushing to PO with it the day we got back from hols!

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 17:11:39

HELENA, have posted query in ebay community and they're saying refund now as parcel on its way back to me! Plus that a 3 week wait before contacting is reasonable due to postal strikes hmm Think I'll adopt a wait and see policy though and see what buyer says before refunding!

HelenaBonhamCarter Thu 10-Sep-09 17:22:06

Oh dear.
Well, if you think she is genuine then wait and see what she says, and refund if she is suitably pleasant about it. But you don't have to.

For me, it would all depend on the intentions of the buyer.

I hope she agrees to have it back, but if not you can relist it I suppose. If she is decent she'll help you arrange a mutual cancellation and you'll have your fees back - but if she isn't, she might not agree to it then you'll be stuck, so it's up to you if you decide to risk it or not.

Diege Thu 10-Sep-09 17:44:43

I agree, it's the intentions that are important to me too. I've still not heard back from her, but am going to hold back and at least see what her response will be. No doubt she'll say no card arrived...The whole thing does seem very odd to me, esp the 3 week wait before contacting me after being so anxious to get it for hols. I know if I were waiting for an item I'd either be waiting anxiously for the mail, or at the least getting in touch with the seller within a week of despatch day!

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