Replied to the lady saying she is welcome to return for a full refund and she has replied that she doesn't want to waste the petrol to return and I can come to her. I have taken paypal lesson learnt But I have no rhyme or reason to go to hers to collect some perfectly good fucking clothes, so where do I go from here? Do I just take the hit, surely its up to her to return them?
If she bought clothes from a shop she decided she had an issue with would she expect said store come to get house to collect them... I would just say no. As with any item bought from a store in order to return the items for a full refund it is the customers responsiblity to return the items to store. Tell her again you are happy to give her a refund if she has changed her mind about the clothes but she must bring them to you for you to proceed the refund. (Or tell her she is welcome to pay to return them by recorded delivery - she must provide proof of postage in case you don't receive the items)