Struggling but my BMI not low enough for help

[spottystripe]

I have name changed because I'm so ashamed of this and don't want it linked to my other posts but I'm desperate for some helpful advice.

If I'm honest with myself I have had eating issues for years but felt okay about it and felt like I've had it under control. I also have inflammatory bowel disease which I've been able to hide behind.

This year has seen a collision of multiple areas of stress in my life. The result has been that my eating has spiralled out of control. I've lost a lot of weight which is obvious to others (not so much to me). I was referred to the dietitian after coming clean to my consultant and have been given a meal plan to follow. However my BMI is not low enough to warrant a referral to a specialist clinic.

Thing is, I really don't want this to get any worse. I'm doing my best to follow the plan and trying to frame it in my head as getting healthy rather than putting weight on. But I'm finding it so hard when there is no psychological support available.

I have increased my daily intake but I'm finding it incredible stressful. The noise in my head is worse and mentally I feel worse than ever. I feel like I've put loads of weight on (husband says I haven't) and I feel full and bloated all of the time. Every meal and snack feels forced.

Has anyone got any advice for how to manage the psychological element of this? I have been referred to the general mental health team but the wait could be 18 months I need support now alongside the dietitian support.


Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading if you made it this far.

[YeOldeTrout]

I don't have any useful experience or knowledge, but I wondered...

What does your husband know?
Have you found online ED support groups (not pro-annie ones)
Who do you talk to in real life about the situation?
I am sure I heard of online (trained MH ED) therapists, actually.

I presume you can't afford to pay privately (also suspect there's a shortage of qualified MH private therapists).

[spottystripe]

Thanks for your reply.

My husband knows how hard I'm finding it and says I'm doing really well but he's not so good with the whole emotional elements.

Other than my husband I haven't told anybody. I'm really ashamed. It's not something I would talk about with anybody. I think a few of my friends might suspect it and try to force me to eat which makes me clam up and avoid them.

I could look at private therapy. I did see a therapist privately early last year but got angry when she suggested I might have an eating disorder and stopped seeing her.

I will also look to see if any online support groups.

Thanks for your help.

[Showmethefood]

Hi OP.

Sorry that you are going through this. I empathise that it is difficult and you have made a very big important step towards the first part of your recovery, which is admitting that you have a problem towards food. Sadly the system treats people based on desperate need, which is measured through how little they weigh. This system has many flaws as eating disorders are so much more effective and have a higher success rate the earlier on they are caught. It is my dream after gaining my PHD to open a clinic that specialises in treating eating disorder patients at the earliest possible stage.

It is imperative in my opinion that you receive counselling ASAP. The eating disorder charity BEAT also has a phone number that you can ring, with trained people who can offer you very good advice. Finally, to be put into contact with a good dietician who can give you accurate advice on foods and help re-educate your mind on healthy balanced eating. I wish you all the best.

[catlady3]

Hi OP, second BEAT, they do great work. Also just to say, you probably don't feel like it but you're doing amazing, it's really really hard to get out of that hole and you've taken such a big step.