Need some advice on behaviour

[Alicia870]

I feel a bit weird even posting this here, but feel I need someone to give me an opinion or advice about what's going on with my eating patterns.

In finding myself caught in a bit of a cycle of restricting calories during the week and then binging and embarrassingly, purging on occasion. Part of me is thinking why are you even thinking this is a problem as I have all sorts of reasons why I'm doing these things, but also feel it can't really be 100% normal either.


When I say restricting, I still eat in the region of 1200 calories a day. I have reached my goal weight since having a baby 8 months ago, but still don't feel satisfied with my body and keep feeling that sense of achievement when the scales get lower. I exercise 4-5 times a week.

This weekend, I ate too much both on Friday night and last night which left me feeling uncomfortably full. I made myself sick to relieve the feeling. It's not necessarily in my head before I do it that it will remove calories, but it does feel good to think that it may have.

I kind of feel like I only ever have 2 gears- either restrict and be overly conscious of what I consume, or over eat and have the attitude of just don't think about it.
I never used to be this way. I lost lots of weight for my wedding but was fairly healthy and maintained my weight fine until I got pregnant and then ate normally and healthy. It's only since losing the baby weight that I'm feeling more stressed about food and the number on the scale as I suppose my body is just not what it was at this weight before. I weigh 8.1 and am 5'3 so I'm not super thin at all. I just still feel unhappy with how I look.

I definitely do not think this is an eating disorder, but could someone give me any advice on how I could manage these swings in behaviour and have a more normal abs balanced approach? I feel ashamed and sorry that I'm being unhealthy when I have a daughter and don't want to get caught in this mindset forever

[notmylittleangel]

Talk to your health visitor.
You are only 8months post partum and still adjusting to your new reality.
Be kind to yourself.