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Is it too late?

(1 Post)
itsabitshitinsidemyhead Wed 27-Feb-19 11:12:09

Is it too late for me to get some help?

I've suffered anorexia/bulimia for almost 30 years. In secret. Of course people notice in thin although not too thin to look ill, my BMI is 17.3 so I'm underweight but I've obviously managed to keep myself alive.

The thing is now I'm terrified I'm going to be found out. I've recently had lots of tests and I'm absolutely dreading a call saying the know I have an ED. I don't WANT anyone to know. I don't want anyone to take this whole part of my identity away.

I have to go and see a cardiologist next week. I don't want to go. I am too ashamed and embarrassed.

I'm a grown woman too embarrassed to go to the GP and ask for help. I don't want help, I just want to keep being me.

I have children. My children don't know but will know if not now then soon. What if they say I'm harming my children with my behaviour?

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