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Is this normal thoughts?(3 Posts)
I suffer from anxiety (GAD) and depression, on and off AD's for 4 years - going through a bad patch now and GP has doubled AD's. Yesterday it occurred to me that I might have an ED, or some signs of one for years. Or is it because I have anxiety about everything in general?.
For 15 years or more I have been obsessed with being slim, any weight gain makes me panic like its the end of the world. I mostly have unhealthy eating habits where I skip meals and live off low calories - but it makes me feel so good and so much 'better' in my head. It is a thrill to lose weight and be able to suppress my hunger, makes me feel in control.
When I am not dieting, I am all over the place, eating sugar and junk and feel awful about myself, feel disgusting and unattractive and I have to sort myself out immediately by serious restricting the next day. Then I eat badly again and feel awful again. When I eat a healthy balanced diet, it doesn't last long as I feel I am gaining weight and eating makes me want to eat more and I feel out of control.
It helps to run, then I eat properly and sensibly exercise knowing i am eating well for my body, healthy mum, burning off calories in a healthy way. So I guess I have a fear of gaining weight. I am a healthy weight, but want to be slimmer. (as it makes me feel better and I am not feeling great...) I have been struggling to exercise as been taking beta blockers, which I am hoping to reduce so I can run again.
Is this normal behaviour to be so panicky and obsessed about my image? I have a 4yo DD and really dont want this to affect her, I have been better since she was born as I need to be a healthy mum for her, but I am having a flare up. I have never spoken about this to anyone but since I am struggling to run, the thought patterns I have are worrying me. Should I mention to GP?.....
Yes it does seem that you have disordered thinking about food and weight. I think you really should mention it to your gp.
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