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Weight gain comments(2 Posts)
Is it ever acceptable for a close relative to be commenting negatively on the weight/size of someone with a known history of eating disorders (all of them )?
I'm overweight (size 16) instead of the size 10-12 this person would rather I was (I have been in the past).
I'm conscious that I don't really want to put on more weight as it's only going to make it more difficult to lose in the long run (in terms of general health not ED). I'm not happy with the way I look but I'm trying to accept it and love myself a bit more while I try to get to grips with other things.
I have awful body image and extremely low self esteem but I'm in a stable place wrt to food for the past year or so, for the first time in a very long time. It sounds like a massive excuse but I can't cope with dieting - I find it extremely triggering. Instead I try to eat mindfully, recognise hunger, eat regular meals, cook using healthy ingredients and concentrate on nourishment above weight loss for now. This in itself is a miracle as I'm not obsessing, yo-yoing or binge-purging. It's really the best I can do following repeat therapy. I'd love to be recovered but it's a long road
This person is commenting (not a new thing) under the guise of concern. Unfortunately they should know better and it upsets and angers me. It threatens to derail my recovery - I'm immediately plunged back to quite a dark place. I try to tell myself it's their issue but they're quite domineering/interfering (story of my life).
I can't really cut them off and they get really defensive if I try to calmly (or angrily) point out how unhelpful they're being.
Would anyone agree that I need to tell them to back off? A complication is that they're suggesting exercise when I really can't (separate health issues - physical and mental) which makes me feel even guiltier and more of a fat failure. I know the value of exercise and I really wish I could but it's something I've had to pause for now. I'm hopeful I can resume soon.
I know this has been a couple of weeks but you absolutely need to tell them to back off. I hope you can be strong enough to. Is there anyone else in your family who can advocate or push back for you?
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