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What can I do? So worried

(15 Posts)
motherofskinnygirl Sat 24-Nov-18 03:54:15

My DD is at uni in Durham and has acknowledged that she has developed an eating disorder. It began with clean eating and goi g vegan but had escalated. She goes to the gym obsessively too.
She's tried to get a referral with GP up there but says it's difficult. She wants to sort herself out because life is passing her by while she obsesses about calories
Her background is that she has body issues due to having scoliosis (which most people
Wouldn't notice).
She's a mess, studying a demanding degree and has spoke. To counselling but needs more specialist help I fear
Have name changed

TubbsAndEdward Sat 24-Nov-18 03:57:37

I don't have any personal experience with them but I believe Beat are worth contacting for help and advice.

ParisNext Sat 24-Nov-18 04:04:09

Hi. What year is she in and is she living in her college or our?

motherofskinnygirl Sat 24-Nov-18 12:54:22

Third year and living out. Doing a four year masters but I'm worried she shouldn't be there at the moment sad

BringOutTheDancingGirls Sun 25-Nov-18 20:46:58

Do you know in what way it was difficult with the GP?
I think only they will be able to refer her for the specialist help she needs.

smatergiesstratergies Sun 25-Nov-18 21:30:50

Can you go and stay with or near her and try and help her access help? I’d be inclined to try and support her whilst carrying on at university as she’s so far through already but it depends on how things develop. At the moment my best strategy would be seeing if I could make a few low key trips down there and try and get her help setup.

motherofskinnygirl Mon 26-Nov-18 15:39:46

The difficulty appears to be lack of available counselling/expert services/
We live a long way away, but am in fact en route to Durham now to see things for myself.
Dreading not being able to help

Smatergiesstratergies Mon 26-Nov-18 15:57:33

I’m sure you are helping by going to see there - you can always see if you can go and see the gp together and find out all of the options.

ParisNext Mon 26-Nov-18 17:46:46

Sorry just seen your reply. You need to make appointment to see the head of her college. You can do this without telling your daughter. They should then help with the next step. The beauty of the collegiate system is that it makes the system smaller. They should talk with student welfare. The help does exist. Good luck.

motherofskinnygirl Mon 26-Nov-18 18:20:03

She has already had meetings at college. Her welfare lady was lovely and let her dept know about the situation. But can't refer her. The counselling service just isn't specialist enough. I agree the college system is great.

BringOutTheDancingGirls Tue 27-Nov-18 00:16:52

As I said, I imagine only her GP can refer to NHS ED services. That would be where I would put my efforts.

Smatergiesstratergies Tue 27-Nov-18 10:38:03

yes agree, i'd try and get her back to the GP to make sure all the options have been fully discussed. I hope things are ok op. Such a worrying time.

motherofskinnygirl Tue 27-Nov-18 12:18:53

I'm here now. In Durham. Seems the problem with referral is she's just not bad enough. It's anorexia with the onset of medical
Complications that qualify you to the waiting list.
So I've sniffed out a CBT therapist with experience. And am chatting to him this afternoon (with DD's permission).
Thanks for advice all x

Smatergiesstratergies Tue 27-Nov-18 15:53:09

Does that mean she has to have a tiny bmi to get seen? It’s terrible that you have to be so bad to get any help, what a scandal.

BringOutTheDancingGirls Tue 27-Nov-18 16:58:49

Your DD's lack of referral has not been my experience at all.
EDs are MUCH more than BMI.

I was referred to the ED team within the MH team following a (very difficult) visit to my GP. I refused to be weighed (though he could see I was not severely underweight).
nb I was in the middle of a depressive episode so maybe that made a difference.

Having said that, your DD's acceptance that she has a problem and her asking you for help are REALLY positive signs. If she is not at a weight low enough to require inpatient intervention then maybe going head on with MH might be too intensive, and that in fact CBT or other counselling may be enough to stop her spiralling.
That's just my opinion - I am not a medic.

You sound like a lovely Mum.

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