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Eating disorder, disordered eating or just normal?

(41 Posts)
Onelumporthewholebag Thu 18-Oct-18 11:14:52

NC for this as long time lurker / poster.
Paranoid I'll be outed.

I go for long periods without eating then binge. So today for example, up at six had three teas then no breakfast. Will prob have a go ahead biscuit or something at 11ish.

Then at one I will probably be hungry, but I will deliberately ignore my tummy rumbling and have tea instead.

I will want to eat and be hungry, but I'm overweight so I feel guilty about eating. This guilt makes me not eat. Then I will cook everyone dinner, apart from myself (I'm overweight) and then end up cracking and having a bowl of cereal or cupasoup at about 9pm coz I'll know i won't sleep unless I eat something.

Is this type of eating normal? I feel like I've lost all sense of what eating normally even is. I'm not losing weight at all with this eating pattern so I'm not benefiting from it.
I see others eating and I think how lucky they are to be able to just eat without having to agonise over it.

Am I OK or do I need help?

MemoryOfSleep Thu 18-Oct-18 18:19:34

I think you should go to a GP and read your. OP to them, hun. flowers

LethalWhite Thu 18-Oct-18 18:23:01

It’s not normal.

You are starving yourself to compensate for your binges. This is bulimia (it’s a misconception that you have to self induce vomiting to be diagnosed with bulimia, or that bulimics are always underweight)

When you binge, how much do you eat? What are you feeling when you do it? How do you feel about stopping?

Tackling the bingeing will be the first step I think, and focusing on eating a normal amount of food everyday.

Go to your GP and ask for a referral. You can get better!

7salmonswimming Thu 18-Oct-18 18:29:00

Let’s assume your tea has milk and no sugar. That’s approx 15cals. 4 cups of tea per day is 60 cals.

A go ahead biscuit (the ones I have) are 160 cals.

A normal cuppa soup portion has about 100 calories.

Don’t know what cereal or how much you eat at night: let’s go overboard and say 500 calories, including milk.

That’s 820 cals in a day.

Of course it’s disordered, and I would say eating disorder too. You know this.

What are you looking for from this thread?

ApolloandDaphne Thu 18-Oct-18 18:49:00

If you are only eating what you say you are on a daily basis you must be losing weight. That is very little. You say you binge but I don't see any evidence of that in your daily food diary you posted. Have you missed out your binge food?

elessar Thu 18-Oct-18 18:53:42

OP yes it sounds like you have an eating disorder sad

You probably should visit your GP, but I would highly recommend reading Brain Over Binge - the recovery guide by Kathryn Hansen and also The Bulimia Help Method.

Onelumporthewholebag Thu 18-Oct-18 20:38:37

I don't always binge. Sometimes I just eat what I've written. Othertimes there will quick binges on crisps, chocolate,junk food. My body never knows what's coming and I cannot stick to healthy eating. I binge when I'm emotional, starve when depressed. I go from one extreme to the other.

I think I have a problem with food but I don't think I fit into any category and my BMI is huge so I don't think I fit the criteria for any specialist help.

I'm also not 100% convinced that everyone isn't eating like this which is how they manage to stay slimmer than me.

LethalWhite Thu 18-Oct-18 22:45:38

How often are you bingeing, and how much are you eating inone binge? Do you feel out of control when you are doing it?

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/bulimia

Millie2008 Thu 18-Oct-18 22:52:52

www.nhs.uk/conditions/binge-eating/

Sorry you’re struggling OP. Perhaps you have binge eating disorder? Does the above link resonate with you? It might be worth a visit to your GP to discuss. Do you have anyone close to you that you can discuss this with?

beingsunny Thu 18-Oct-18 22:57:28

This is so familiar, I'm also overweight, thyroid.
I do exactly this, when I have low mood or am feeling down I don't eat, I am currently in a cycle of 5/6 days of barely eating anything then will have two days of not bingeing as such but will eat three large meals and treats all day, then the few pounds list goes back on and it starts again.
It's awful because I feel so good not eating, my energy is up and my clothes start to feel better.

I'm not sure what to offer as advice, I also replace meals with tea, and if I'm tired I put half a sugar in.

I'm writing this and know that it sounds awful, I know it's not helping my weight as I'm ten kilos heavier than a year ago 

Onelumporthewholebag Fri 19-Oct-18 08:01:06

Beingsunny I do this also.

beingsunny Fri 19-Oct-18 08:46:23

I suppose I imagine I'm always on the cusp on an eating disorder, not that I actually have one.
I'm 5'10 and around 95 kilos which is my heaviest.
I am good at high 70s but I'm tall and big boned 🙁

fessmess Fri 19-Oct-18 08:52:49

It's binge eating disorder. It is an eating disorder and the only way to stop it is to stop shaming yourself and start eating 3 meals a day.

ApolloandDaphne Fri 19-Oct-18 08:55:59

Thank you for coming back and clarifying what you eat during your binges. That makes more sense now.

I am in no way slim but i too would binge if i ate like you. You need to train yourself to eat 3 decent meals each day so you don't get super hungry then want to binge.

HanarCantWearSweaters Fri 19-Oct-18 09:00:14

Yes it’s bulimia, bulimia is patterns of binge eating and compensatory behaviours nad your compensatory behaviour is starvation cycles. I have been exactly there. You’re not losing any weight because your body has entered starvation mode and is clinging onto every ounce of fat you have because it thinks you’re in a famine/drought period etc and doesn’t know when it might get its next meal. Off to your GP for some guidance and in the meantime get the book Brain Over Binge, I’ve found it very helpful.

beingsunny Fri 19-Oct-18 09:14:52

Does it matter that the eating cycle is mood related? If things are good, I don't do this.
Sorry to hijack your post, I'm in a bit of a slump with this eating pattern at the moment.
I'm constantly thinking if I can do a good week of barely eating and lose a few pounds then I can go back to normal eating.

Raven88 Fri 19-Oct-18 09:28:05

@Onelumporthewholebag Your BMI won't stop you getting help. I have a BMI if 30 and I finally told my doctor about my eating issues and he suspects that I have an eating disorder. A few years ago when it got out of control I lost 6 stone in 6 months and I would of died if I carried on.

Onelumporthewholebag Fri 19-Oct-18 09:33:39

Thanks for your replies everyone. I'm in shock really as I didnt expect to be told I have an eating disorder. I thought everyone ate strangely. I'm not ready to go to my gp yet as I don't want anyone to know. Thanks for your help everyone.

SmokeAndBone Fri 19-Oct-18 09:50:08

I think you are being disingenuous, OP.
You know you agonise over food choices and are envious of people who don't. You starve and binge.

I can't see how you are in shock at MNers suggesting you may be bulimic.

Maybe you were looking for reassurance that your eating habits are normal. In which case, you knocked on the wrong door. Folk here are nothing if not honest - but also supportive and helpful.

Nothing will change unless you want it to.

elessar Fri 19-Oct-18 09:53:49

@onelumporthewholebag If you don't feel you can go to your GP please buy the books I just mentioned. I think they might really help you.

LethalWhite Fri 19-Oct-18 11:17:08

Just to add - it’s bulimia, not binge eating disorder.

Binge eating disorder is when people binge on food, but don’t try to ‘correct’ with fasting, vomiting etc.

Bulimia has bingeing and the ‘correcting’ behaviours.

As OP is fasting and denying herself food because she binges and is worried about her weight, it’s bulimia.

LethalWhite Fri 19-Oct-18 11:22:37

Also OP - it’s very common. It’s a mental health disorder like any other, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

It’s simply a maladaptive coping mechanism. Some antidepressants can help with bulimia, and help you manage. There’s also lots of talking therapy and support available. When you are ready, your GP can help you access support, there’s also lots of information online (id stick to nhs or the big eating disorder charity websites) that you can read to understand better what you are going through

flowers

7salmonswimming Fri 19-Oct-18 19:00:05

What’s going on op?

You say you thought everyone eats strangely. So you know the way you eat is strange. But if everyone eats the way you do, well then it would be normal and not strange.

You also say you’re shocked to think you have an eating disorder but don’t want to go to the gp because you don’t want people to know. Why would people know? Your conversations with your doctor are confidential. People would only know if you tell them.

What gives? Your motives in posting are.....strange.

Onelumporthewholebag Fri 19-Oct-18 20:38:11

My motives for posting was to gauge if my eating habits were normal. Most of my friends either have issues with food or are depressed /anxious so my viewpoint of what is normal had been skewed. (Because my friends appetites are changed by how they feel, much like mine is, frequently).

I'm sure lots of people have reached a point where there lose their way and don't know whether their way is the right way or whether they are wrong. My doctor is male. And old. And the thought of telling him or showing him this message terrifies me.

All I wanted to know was - was it normal to restrict food intake then binge then restrict. I've learnt that from posters on here, it's not normal.

I don't feel comfortable telling my doctor about this. I'm only just realising it's not OK.

Can everyone be kind please?
It took a lot of guts to post on here and a few of the responses are a bit hmm

I will have a look at the stuff recommended.

I'm acknowledging that my eating patterns are not healthy or normal.

Many thanks to everyone who had posted. I'm really shocked that so many people have agreed it is an eating disorder. It's been a stark realisation.

You can't just snap your fingers and 'get better'.

Thanks again to all who have posted.

Verbena87 Fri 19-Oct-18 20:54:01

I'm also not 100% convinced that everyone isn't eating like this which is how they manage to stay slimmer than me.

I’m 5’6” and 8stone 5lbs, so at the slim end of a healthy BMI. I eat 3 meals a day, plus usually a snack mid morning and mid afternoon, walk a lot at work, run 3 times a week, and breastfeed a hungry baby. So no, definitely not all slim people eat (or don’t eat) like you describe: I would be weepy, snappy and shaky on the amount of food you describe - you’re a valuable human being and deserve to feel nourished, not wobbly and hangry and guilty.

Even if you’re not ready to talk to your gp about eating, I’d try to get your thyroid checked as a pp mentioned - there may be an underlying physical health issue affecting your weight that needs addressing, as well as your dysfunctional relationship with food. And when you’re ready to seek help for the eating issue, could you maybe ask to see a different gp at your practise? Sounds like yours is not someone who’d put you at ease.

Good luck getting sorted.

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