How can I help DD? I am scared she is developing an eating disorder...

[NotdeadyetBOING]

Really hoping I can get some advice as I'm very worried about DD who is 11. She has always had a really sweet tooth, but now she goes to school on her own it's easier for her to buy sweets. She buys them in vast quantities and hides them - I often find big piles of sweet wrappers in her bag/room. We are quite a healthy household - balanced diet (nothing off limits, puddings allowed etc.) and we take regular exercise. She is never hungry at mealtimes (because she's been stuffing herself with sweets on the QT) so isn't getting proper nutrition. DH and I have been trying to stress the importance of eating well for health (rather than mentioning weight), but she shouted at us the other day that she knows that's a euphemism and she knows we mean she's fat. We denied it, but the reality is she IS getting a bit fat - which is hardly surprising. I think she knows she needs help, but I don't know how to go about it. I am terrified of doing the wrong thing and triggering anorexia. Would be hugely grateful for any advice. TIA.

[Grumpyoldblonde]

Hi,
In the first instance I’d have a really open talk with her, no judgements, no talk of weight but more does she have anything on her mind. Try to work out why she feels she needs to hide the wrappers.
I’d make sitting at the table and having dinner non negotiable, if she has an eating disorder or is at the start this is really important.

I’d also look at her moods, taking into account hormonal changes. Is she moody, does she have friends etc.

From there I’d have a chat with school and see if they’ve noticed changes with friends and behaviour.
Finally, take her to the doctor ASAP, you are clearly concerned and you know your child best, so listen to your instincts.

My daughter is anorexic and I would not wish this on anyone, it’s pure hell.

I will add that I believe in most cases that by the time a parent suspects ED the child is probably already in its grip.

Having said that it may be just a phase, leading up to periods and so on, she is growing up and needs calories. I don’t want to alarm you but I do have experience of this unfortunately.

I am happy to talk by PM if it would help.

[Bluebuddha10]

My daughter has anorexia as well. I would be careful of jumping the gun here but at the same time it's good you are aware. The advice from grumpyoldblonde is a good start x

[Gemma8chih]

Hi I have discovered this wkend my 11 yr old daughter has not been eating puddings,sweets, Fizzy pop for at least a couple of months ? When I ask if she has eaten them she lies says she has and then I find them hidden it's like she physically can't eat them x I don't understand I can find lots of info about the opposite to much junk or binge eating but not this x What concerns me the most she is lying to me and she's not like that x