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Selective eating disorder?

(6 Posts)
Daffodils78 Thu 04-Oct-18 17:32:03

OMG I just can't seem to make myself eat. It's a common occurrence when I'm stressed.

Usually I drink coffee or energy drinks during the day, then for dinner I have some chicken wings, sometimes some coleslaw or a corn cob, occasionally chips/waffles/beans.

I have a fridge and freezer full of food. I get excited in the shop about how much I'm going to enjoy it.
The other day I bought some lovely fresh figs and ended up giving them all to DD.

I do eat a few other bits. Crisps sometimes or popcorn.
I only eat prepackaged preprepared food because since my celiac diagnosis I am paranoid about cross contamination.

Sometimes I make myself drink slim fast. I have had some in the cupboard for a week now and not touched it. Doesn't help the premade one made me ill.

Am I suffering with an eating disorder? I am tired and hungry all the time but just can't make myself eat.

SpottingTheZebras Thu 04-Oct-18 17:33:19

Stress can affect your appetite. As can be low on vitamins, which is a side effect of not eating.

Daffodils78 Thu 04-Oct-18 17:49:54

I've been checked for b vits and iron (which are normal) and I supplement too.

It's just my appetite. I find I can't eat if I have something to do, and that includes feeding the kids and putting them to bed, showering, cleaning, washing up etc. honestly if I didn't have my kids I don't think I'd be eating at all.

I only like the foods I can't eat and the substitutes are just not the same. Sometimes I even dream about special chow main and prawn toast, but I wake up and can't face anything.

I am on Mirtazapine and my dose has been upped as I have a habit of not eating when I'm anxious/stressed/down. However, despite it helping marvellously with my sleep and bringing my anxiety down, I still have no appetite.

I have never lost weight on Mirtazapine before, but have lost 1.5 stone in 6 months (with the last half a stone or so within the last 3 weeks).

I wasn't small to start with, so I could "afford" the loss. I don't want to buy a whole new set of clothes though. And things are getting loose.

I have had issues with s/harm and drugs/alcohol binges when I was young, is this another s/harming behaviour?

Daffodils78 Thu 04-Oct-18 17:59:16

I think there is more tbh. I just read through the forum on EDs and think I need some help. I have given my laxatives and Fibre drinks away recently (consciously) but am still taking diet pills occasionally.

I think I am using caffeine as a laxative and to energise me now, and then not eating so as my stomach is always empty, I wish I could just cut out my ugly middle.

I'm too lazy to exercise now. Too tired, or too stressed, or something.
I'm so tired and I just feel like I am giving up. I can't keep fighting (but I know I have too...)

SpottingTheZebras Thu 04-Oct-18 18:07:54

It sounds like seeing your GP to ask for some further support and perhaps a referral to someone who can help would be a good idea.

flowers

Daffodils78 Thu 04-Oct-18 18:13:53

I am going to.
I spent my whole childhood embarrassed by my mother's constant dieting, my brothers 7 food diet as a child, and my other siblings fussiness.

I vowed to never have an issue with my eating, but on/off weight gain and loss, HG in pregnancy 2 and celiac diagnosis have made me obsess about cross contamination, read labels fanatically and gradually illuminate all other "danger" foods.

I gave up dairy for a year, tried various different eating styles (paleo, Atkins, slim fast, slimming world, the military diet) anything to give me some food 'structure.'

It's like after all these years it's come back to haunt me. I think all my family have some kind of restrictive eating.

I believe my mother was suffering with an eating disorder- bulimia- as well as self harm before she ever had me.

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