Not sure what i am doing....

[Bingbongboo29]

Hi everyone. Nc for this. I dont really know what i am asking. And i dont know if i have a problem or not. I am not over weight or underweight. A bit wobbly but had 3 babies in the last 4/5 years! Anyway. I dont really like eating.....i have favourite foods, and i like thinking about eating. I cook for the family but i dont like eating.

I will cook for dh but not eat with him. I will either eat one or eat the bare minimum. Kids are fussy so i cook what they lik. Ocassionaly might nibble on the left overs. I feel guilty eating.... dont know why! Although i think most of this stems from my childhood and my mum.

Dh hates it i dont eat. But is very quick to mention whwn i put on or lose weight. So either way i feel crap. However i jave discussed this with him and he has apologosed amd since stopped. I thnk he has realised i am struggling with something and has troed nicely to get me to eat with him and encourage me. But i HATE eating in front of others. Anyone. Only the dc but they are small so i dont think anything of it!

I tend to snack on crap but dont let anyone see! So i eat say.... coffee for brealfast and maybe a biscuit. At lunch i will eat crisps. Maybe an apple and coffee and water. And dinner i will eother skip or have left over chickem nuggets or fish finger or whatever homemade kids dish i made or chocolate...
Kids dont see the snacking. Although this evening i had lentil soup and bread which i ate with everyone but then did kids baths when they finished and while dh ate main meal so i didnt have tooo. I am starving now and would happily eat a biscuit or something but if i eat properly i feel guilty. And aeord like i cant be bothered!

I cook for us seperately but then i dont eat it. Dh does and i say i ate while cooking or that im not hungry yet i.am starving and my stomach rumbles continuously.

I tried batch cookimg and freezing what i didnt eat to eat the next day alone. But i just stopped
I am exhausted looking after the kids and dh works all the time. Self employed
So helps when he can. I dont know what im asking but it is starting to affect my health. Dizzy and lightheaded a lot. Not as patient as normal. Dce is ebf and amazingly i have loads of milk!

Sorry this is long dont know what i am asking. I know i am being stupid and if ot was anyone else i would say there was an issue. I just cant snap out of it. Also now when i do eat a full meal i bloat so bad so that puts me off.

Dh has tried to help but i just shut him down and say im fine. Or im busy with the kids i will eat later.

If anything...thanks for listening. Sorry it is long and jumbled

[MimsyStarr]

Hi bing bong,
You should tell this to your doctor. Especially as you are breastfeeding. If you are dizzy and light headed a lot, you need to explain all this to your GP.

[MimsyStarr]

too. Having 3 small children must be exhausting ... be kind to yourself.

[Bingbongboo29]

Thanks mimsy. The stupid thing is whenever someone says something i automatically say no im fine im not hungry!

[Wishingandwaiting]

Bingbongboo29

Sounds stressful and awful for you

You must be losing weight at an astonishing rate. Is this your ambition? Or is it a disgust at eating? Either way, I think may be a trip to your gp or private counselling is in order

[Bingbongboo29]

No i dont want to lose weight and im not! Im surprised i havent. Im not disgusted by food but i feel guilty about it and embarassed and i dont know why