Advice needed - ongoing eating issues(1 Post)
So this is more of a 'I hope I'm not the only one' and looking for other people in the same boat as I'm feeling very isolated with this at the moment!
Tiny bit of history- I've always had a bad relationship with food, since I was about 12/13! Since then have had patches of trying extreme diets, buying diet pills etc but I never really actually lost weight! I just stressed about it a lot! Then at about 18 I limited myself to 500 calories a day and lost quite a bit, I then got pregnant and all the bad thoughts about weight and food left and everything went back to normal!
Now at 25 years old -
In july I begun throwing up my food/restricting my food! To the point where I lost about a stone in 1 month! This carried on where I'd skip breakfast, probably skip lunch- if I did eat lunch I'd throw as much of it as I could up, then I'd have dinner and at least every other night I'd go 'out' so I could also throw that up! So some days I'd be throwing up 4/5 times if I felt bad about eating even really small things!
I would never eat a lot on purpose then throw it up, it's only ever normal size meals - which makes me think this isn't bulimia, but at the same time I'm not starving myself for days on end so also not anorexia?
This carried on for about 4 months - then with a lot of self control I put a stop to it! Mainly because I was struggling to hide it at both work and home! And deep down I knew it had to stop, although the second I ate I couldn't get the thought to the the food out of my body away! I'd always be happier once I had done it! And get extremely stressed if I couldn't do it! Always disappearing for an amount of time at work or always finding excuses at home to pop out! There where some pretty low moments during this period!
So I had about a month free of throwing up my food and eating relatively healthily!
Then 2 weeks ago out of the blue after a big family roast at a pub I went to the toilets and threw that up! I think this was due to the fact it's probably the biggest meal I've eaten in a while so felt a bit to much! Since then I've done this every couple of days - not daily like before!
Has anyone else had the same? I don't know what to do! I'm not underweight (hovering around the 9stone mark and 5ft3)- I'm still able to exercise a lot!
This weekend I have done it twice and now I'm lying here after having a hot choc and 3 biscuits feeling awful!
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