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EATING DISORDER??- help me get this right with 15 yo Dd

(10 Posts)
BlueJeans72 Thu 23-Mar-17 08:22:06

My dd1 has just turned 15 and has lost 1.5 stone in 3 months as a result of disordered eating and disordered thinking about food. The therapist- who she used to see for anxiety- said yesterday that she is at a crossroads in terms of whether she allows her to slip down the path of full blown eating disorder or a return to healthy eating habits.

This situation is recent. The diet has been going on 3 months but the really worrying self imposed rules around food have worsened in the last three weeks.

Breakfast and school lunch are now an issue, as are triggering and unhelpful comments from friends around the subject.

Dd feels that she has had a wake up call as a result of hearing what the therapist said. She wants to get back to 'normal' and now sees that she is is on a slippery slope, but is scared she won't be able to give up her current habits.

Aibu to keep her off school for two days to do fun, mood enhancing, distracting things ? To try to avoid the meal time patterns that of the school day and try to up her food intake over the next few days? I know 4 days Isnt long but I just feel instinctively that I need to try to 'kick start' the breaking of a pattern.

And advice please, I want to get this right- and do and say the right thing.

All help appreciated.

LapinR0se Thu 23-Mar-17 08:26:42

I am a past sufferer.
Wasting disorders are all about control. If you try and decide how and when to push her down the right path at the crossroads it could backfire spectacularly.

The decision has to come from her. She should be working with her she hwrapist on the benefits of eating a full and healthy diet, and the disadvantages of disordered eating. She could literally draw out the crossroads and what lies down each path. That's the sort of thing I did at my therapy and then I would visualise myself being heavier yes, but also full of energy and happiness at one end. And thin, cold and despairing at the other.
That made the choice easier for me. But I had to make it myself and I had to do a lot of positive thinking about food and nutrition every day.
A few days off where my mum decided what I ate would have pushed me completely down the other route I think.

LapinR0se Thu 23-Mar-17 08:28:05

Wasting disorders = eating disorders. I wish MN had an edit button!

katronfon Thu 23-Mar-17 08:31:36

Is she getting professional help with her disordered eating, Ie from CAMHS or a specialist organisation and specialist therapist?

BlueJeans72 Thu 23-Mar-17 08:31:57

Hi Lapin, I was with her with during the therapy yesterday and the therapist did give us a bit of homework, which I was going to do with her today.
I was going to let her meal plan and not force anything at all, I just wanted to try to avoid known 'meal missing routines' for a couple of days as she's worse on a school day.

SafeToCross Thu 23-Mar-17 08:36:11

Sounds good - if her therapist is not an eating disorder specialist, ask if she can meet with one, as there is evidence an early appointment with a specialist helps. Try to get the balance between the non-negotiables - you do need to eat more, eat reguarly and eat a balance of foods - and the support/negotiation - so how are we going to get there. If having days off school, you need to ensure this is not a 'get out clause' or avoidance (not eating as a way of spending more time with Mum, and less with life stresses). Lots of resources on FEAST and Eva Musby's site.

BlueJeans72 Thu 23-Mar-17 08:42:07

Thanks all. Sorry for brief replies, I am listening to all advice but Dd is now up and obv don't want her to see me typing!

The days off are my idea as I just reasoned that any behaviour with a recent pattern might benefit from a change of scene. Dd seemed relieved at my suggestion.

She has had CAHMS referral and has had therapy for months for anxiety and other things. The food thing is new. The therapist has some degree of specialism but it's not her only area.

Thanks again.

BlueJeans72 Thu 23-Mar-17 08:42:23

Thanks for links!

katronfon Thu 23-Mar-17 09:10:48

Oh good. I wasn't being nosey - just checking that the help she was getting was targeted appropriately. I wish you the very, very best, and hope that DD is able to turn this around. I'd ask DD if she thinks a few days off would help.

Minimoan Thu 23-Mar-17 23:20:48

Early intervention is KEY to prevent escalation of ED's.
Please look at the FEAST website - excellent evidence-based guidance and peer-to-peer practical support for families ...
www.feast-ed.org/
I hope this helps!

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