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How to help me wife

(2 Posts)
purplechandelier Sat 18-Mar-17 01:37:38

First time poster here and at a loss..

Both my wife and I have very unhealthy relationships with food and have had since we were young e.g. binging, eating unhealthily, yo-yo dieting etc.

We got married last year and this spurred my wife on to losing and maintaining a slimmer figure (neither of us have ever been massively overweight, moving between a size 8-12). Unfortunately this has caused a resurgence of her bulimia which she has suffered from mildly in the past, however this time round it has become out of control. She keeps most of it hidden from me but has admitted that during particularly bad spells she will be vomiting 4 times a day, 7 days a week. She has been to the doctor and has tried group therapy which she quit after one session (although she lied and said she had been to more) and is now apparently undergoing one-to-one CBT. I say apparently because I don't actually know if she is going or not. I know she is still frequently vomiting and becoming more and more body dysmorphic by the day. I just don't know how to help if she won't talk to me about it and when she does I don't know if she is telling me the truth.

I understand it is a personal journey but it is so infuriating as I know all the health risks and just worry that something bad is going to happen. I feel like I want to speak to one of her healthcare professionals but know they won't be able to tell me anything. She tells me she wants to stop but I feel like now her desire to be as thin as she is now (or thinner) is more of a motivation to continue. Over the past few months she has been receiving lots of compliments about how good/thin she is looking etc which isn't helping things either. I have tried all sorts of approaches in trying to talk to her about it but although there have been some 'better' spells, overall there is no improvement.

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice for me?

BlueChairs Tue 09-May-17 02:13:56

I'm sorry, I know this is v late. I have been bulimic since I was 15 and the only thing which has helped me limit is the fact that my teeth are now weak/ chipping and will fall out. Maybe show her the YouTuber Shanny who has lost most of her teeth . I can't help because I am in the same situation and it's my worst nightmare. Please remind her she could have a heart attack, oesophageal damage etc and that she is killing herself.
It's so hard and I'm doing my best to recover but fuck me it's natural to me now.

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