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Is this how eating disorders start?

(4 Posts)
AnOpenBook Tue 03-Jan-17 19:34:38

Or is 17 yo DD just being massive pain in the arse?
So DD started skipping meals (ALL meals) a few weeks ago
She doesn't even seem to be eating much at school from what I can see she has bought on lunchcsrd only sugary drinks.
She does sometimes seem to snack when we are in bed but she isn't eating very much. Just biscuits I think.
She was better over Christmas at my parents house -ate at least two meals a day and normsl-ish quantities.
Back home for 3 days now and until this evening we ha d only seen her eat a few crisps (yesterday) and a few nuts (today). It is possible she is eating more but there isn't really a lot of evidence.
When we ask her to come for food she just says she isn't hungry or doesn't feel like it.
She has never expressed concerns about weight. However she is finding a levels very hard and is already seeing school counsellor and GP (without me there). This had come pretty much out of the blue. She was skipping breakfast but that seemed to be more of a time issue

Suspect not eating is a control thing. I self harmed for same reason and see this as similar but may be wrong. It has potentially more consequences than me citing or banging my head so I am really worried and getting hugely frustrated with her not eating

Then sometimes I think its an act - she'll do things like Cook scampi (!) when we are out and this evening after 1 pleaded with her to eat something she ate scrambled eggs on toast that I made (breaking my own rule of not cooking a separate meal for child who won't eat what I've prepared) . Having said that I didn't actually see her eat it<.. I've been maintaining this pretense that I think she is avoiding us rather than Avoiding food so left her alone to eat.

Any ideas what is going on and whether this behavior cd develop into an eating disorder?
And if so is there any way of heading it off?

Becciilouisex3 Tue 10-Jan-17 22:00:53

It could be an eating disorder. If she's eating late at night or in her room in private, especially if it's more snacks as you describe like biscuits, I'd be cautious about possible bulimia as this sounds a little like I was at the start.

*(Disclaimer - definitely not saying this is for certain just going from my own experience of suffering with eating disorders)
Generally with bulimia, you restrict and try not to eat because which is triggered by weight or as I would suspect if your daughter has an ED, craving control. You feel embarrassed to eat in front of people because you feel they're looking at you as fat or you can't control how much your eating and you also find the whole process of eating and feeling dull as quite disgusting. The thing is with bulimia that obviously, you can't starve yourself forever and so when you eat you end up binging on stuff you love, usually snacks but then comes the purging. Not everyone with bulimia purges via vomiting, some use laxatives or actually just exercise but vomiting is the most common.

Have you noticed her brushing her teeth more or going to the toilet for a while? Running the shower or playing music maybe? Does she wear baggy clothing or ever seem slightly puffy cheeked?

Hoping for your sake you just have a bit of a stubborn teenager as that is definitely a huge possibility at this stage! I think all girls at that age are conscious of weight as boys play a big part and they're comparing themselves to the "pretty girls" in college etc. Definitely possible that it's a phase but also fantastic that you're looking into it as the earlier you can catch an ED the more accepting of recovering the sufferer is. Good luck flowers

AtleastitsnotMonday Tue 10-Jan-17 22:04:11

It's possible but v hard to call at this point, it's been s while since your post, how has she been in the last week. Has she lost weight? Is there any evidence of any compensatory behaviours? Vomiting, excessive exercise, laxative abuse etc? Does she seem to have an increased interest in calories etc or a preoccupation around food despite not eating? The one thing that makes me question an ed is the choice of food she is eating, speaking as someone with AN the foods you list would be some of my real fear foods.
That said eds are so complex and individual I wouldn't rule it out.
Ed or not going for long periods on very limited food is never going to be good for a growing teen. I think my advice would be monitor for now but if the situation escalates I'd mention it if not to your dd then to the gp.

t875 Fri 13-Jan-17 15:22:52

Personally I think she possibly is on the way to a possible problem, my dd has had a lot of problems like this, i want to be honest with you and let you know just so you can act quick, dd started out like this skipping meals, not eating at lunch, we didnt know what was going on before until we found pieces of paper with calories written down meal plans and forms of diary entries of how she can cut corners to not eat and dupe us and the school.

Sounds like your dd isnt as far as my dd - who is doing better, its a slow road but we are going the right direction with CBT.

I would maybe talk to her and let her know your concerns I would also check her computer /social media as dd was looking at a website called Pro Anna which gave her ideas how to dupe us and how she can find ways to cut calories and not eat.

Hope your dd turns a corner asap. flowers
feel free to pm me x

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