I really hope I've come to the right place here. I seem to have a more unusual kind of eating disorder development, and I really need some help.
When I was 9 I developed Anorexia, this lasted until I was forced to eat around age 16. I got treatment for depression at this age, but once I had started eating I got no help for my ED, other than "keep eating". I soon started bingeing instead (no throwing up or anything), which lasted from roughly 17-19, and became mildly obese as a result.
I then went back to Anorexia from 19-21, and then again ended up bingeing after this. I am now almost 29, and still bingeing.
I can't help myself, so I am now triyng to go back to the roots, and seeing if I can work through this from the base issue of Anorexia. I have for years been trying to follow various popular diet/lifestyles, but it has not been successful for me, and my conclusion is that I now need to repair my mind before I can develop actual healthy eating habits and stabilise at a normal and healthy weight, rather than at either very underweight or very overweight.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Does anyone have any good advice for me? I'm really desperate, though part of me feels like because I am bingeing rather than starving, I am not "good enough" for this forum. I know this is a messed up way of thinking, and stems from my thoughts still being those of anorexia, rather than healthy.
Please, please help me. I've turned everywhere and nobody can help me irl, so this is the only place I could think of.
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Eating disorders
From Anorexia to binge-eating
Purplebluebird · 24/10/2016 17:10
Hi purple bird you're not alone and the first thing I would say is that once you have an ED, you are definitely on a kind of spectrum. You're basically looking at a way of dealing with issues, anorexia isn't a stand alone disease, any more than bingeing is. They are both responses
I say this from experience as a young anorexic, who now struggles with bingeing and restricting. Frankly it's a pain in the arse
Please do go and get counseling but please also feel like you've made a step forward by posting about it on here. It's a long journey and there are a lot of people on here who will go through it with you.
Stay put, there will be more along soon. Thinking of you and virtually holding a hand. 
I've not experienced anorexia but have had problems with binge eating. I found a book called Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen really helpful. She went from being a teenage anorexic to binge eating and bulimia. The book describes how she realised that her brain was giving her unhelpful signals to binge in a survival mechanism and how she managed to override the signals. It's well-researched and doesn't require you to solve any emotional problems before it can help you, which was a relief to me (I don't want to get into all that stuff 
)
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