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only every now and again?? (trigger warning)

(10 Posts)
biggirlpantstoday Tue 26-Apr-16 17:41:07

Please don't judge me it's my first time posting here in not sure if this is right . So before I go speak to my doctor I just wanted to chat here about what's been happening. I've been dieting for a while slimmingworld , calorie counting allsorts really. Thing is I find that I'm doing really well but then say if one day out of the blue I break eg: Il finish the kids teas off such as pasta chicken nuggets ,

Anything left on there plate really il have a pick at it then feel really bad. I will then eat everything I can get my hands on then while I tell the kids I'm off upstairs to do washing I will go upstairs and purge. sad

This happens like once every few weeks or so. Not just with the kids tea but say if I have something in general like a Chinese and then I get the overwhelming urge to get rid because I feel I've let myself down.

Iv been like this for about 10 years. But because it's only every once in a while does this make me bulimic? I feel so so ashamed especially when the kids are in the house too :,(

The other thing is though is I also get a strange feeling afterwards like I feel motivated to clean up the house or get on with jobs I haven't been motivated to do all day. It's like I have more energy than I did before I purge. So then this kind of makes me lean towards doing it too. I have depression and anxiety and so I take AD for that. I find myself a lot of days just looking forward to bedtime, sometimes napping after the school run or just not being able to get myself up to do something productive. Other days I can be tottally opposite and cleaning very meticulously I go from one extreme with it to another.

I just feel terrible and fed up. I know it's not normal behaivior but I feel so alone with it.

onemoremummy Tue 26-Apr-16 17:46:03

That's called Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Definitely go see a GP who hopefully is able to help...

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive Tue 26-Apr-16 17:49:47

And the mood swings (periods of high activity sometimes induced by your purging) is something that you should definitely mention as well.

biggirlpantstoday Tue 26-Apr-16 22:32:52

If it is BED I wish the professionals would call it something else than 'binge' eating disorder. Makes it sound awful and makes me feel worse if anything ... sad thankyou for your replys guys

onemoremummy Wed 27-Apr-16 07:36:25

Would it make you feel better knowing that it's very very common and that there are even threads on MN about it???

I've got it and you'd never know. I don't purge but definitely go through the binge eating part.

barkinginessex Wed 27-Apr-16 07:41:19

Sorry you are going through this. I have been bulimic for 10 years and although I don't binge and purge every day now I have occasional lapses. Afterwards I have a frenzied clean of the house. I don't know if it's a mixture of shame and guilt or a distraction from what I've done.
In my experience it can lead further binging and purging so I would suggest getting help early on. Bulimia is a very serious ED and has nearly destroyed me life. Please don't let it get any further flowers.

biggirlpantstoday Wed 27-Apr-16 20:52:58

Barkingessex I think your right it is a mixture of taking my mind off it but still feeling on high and being in control kind of? I don't know it's so strange. Thankyou for your replies I will mention it to the doctor but j struggle to see how they could help sad

thatcoldfeeling Wed 27-Apr-16 21:23:41

That is not BED, that is bulimia. Bulimia is binge and purging, BED is just bingeing.

I always do a bit of a mad frenzied clean/sort out manic kind of thing straight after purging too, I don't quite no why but then I don't know why I do any of it!

barkinginessex Wed 27-Apr-16 23:34:00

thatcoldfeeling, it's interesting that you do that too. I've been thinking about it and I think it's about keeping grip of the control which I've just lost through the binge and then purging. I agree that this is bulimia rather than BED. Please see help asap OP before it escalates further.

barkinginessex Wed 27-Apr-16 23:35:36

Keep posting here if you don't feel you could talk to a doctor.

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