i hate my dentist.... the most unsympathetic person in the world towards my eating disorder past(12 Posts)
after suffering from bulimia for 10 years my teeth are in terrible condition and the amount of work I have had done in the last year and a half is huge.
had major toothache for the last 4 weeks and finally got an emergency appointment this morning to find that my 4th tooth from the front will probably have to come out next Friday. Feel devastated as you will be able to see it very clearly.
but rather than be sympathetic, the dentist compared todays xray with last years and pointed out how bad this tooth has got - its gone from a lovely white tooth to a very decayed tooth, then shakes his head in dismay and says 'I just don't know whats going on, there is clearly something going on here, you are eating the wrong diet, too such sugar etc etc'. and he said next friday at my appointment he will give me a food diary to fill out for 4 weeks so he can see the bad food im eating.
I have never said I eat no sugar, but I don't eat more than a normal person. I don't eat sweets and choc excessively BECAUSE I know my teeth are bad. but he makes me feel like shit every single time banging on about sweets and sugar, rather than consider the fact that my teeth have barely any enamel on them to protect them as it is, and making me feel shit about myself on a regular basis when I have the history that I have is not going to help me.
ive worked really hard to get to where I am now, and ive not binged or purged for a year now, but rather than a bit of understanding I get made to feel like its all my fault this has happened to me. to say I need to fill out a food diary is just insulting.
Change your dentist then !! YOu are not obliged to use him.
Does your dentist know about your bulimia?
To me your story reads as if the dentist doesn't, is puzzled why your teeth have degraded so fast and is asking you to keep a food diary to get to the bottom of it.
Does he know about the bulimia? If he does, he's being insensitive.
If not, why not discuss it with him or change dentist!
he knows all my history and the amount of times ive broke down in tears (like today) having to remind him, its most times I go.
ive been telling myself that I will change dentist but this one is only 4 doors from my house and he works at quite a few around here... il probably end up changing to another one that he works at!
im kind of waiting for a period of no toothache so that I can have a breather and change dentists without the risk of needing an appointment quickly and not having a new one sorted out. ive had toothache daily and problems one after the other for the last few months so still waiting for that breather!
OP, like others have said, when you get a chance do try to find another dentist. I have similar issues with my teeth and always seem to be having dental treatment. I was under a really awful, insensitive dentist for a while but we changed surgeries and DH helped me explain the issues and my history to our new dentist. She is really understanding and gives advice on managing my teeth in the here and now, rather than criticising my 'negative' dental behaviour in the past.
It is really worth while doing some research and looking for a dentist that specialises in nervous or anxious patients. Having a more sympathetic dentist that will talk through your feelings and be kinder will be worth its weight in gold.
I know choice is more limited if it's on the nhs. Is paying for treatment an option for you.
Although it's in no way the same league I have suffered with enamel erosion from two pregnancies with extreme sickness. On top of that brushing my teeth made me sick so my hygiene at the back was awful. The dentist couldn't have been kinder. No lectures or comments, just really supportive.
Don't keep putting yourself through this. It sounds like you are doing amazing with your recovery, well done!
Hugs to you OP. I have a similar problem due to childhood neglect and hyperemesis grav. in 2 pregnancies.
The last time I went to the dentist he treated me appallingly and I left in tears.
He berated me for drinking litres of cola etc and the one thing I don't do is drink fizzy drinks.
I haven't been to a dentist since even though I badly need some work done.
I get so stressed by it and then they start on at you when you are unable to defend yourself. It is soul destroying when you are trying to help yourself and all you get is grief.
More hugs to you reading about your awful unsympathetic dentist. I suffered bulimia for over ten years twenty years ago and my teeth although badly damaged are still just about ok and I'm nearly 60! It's great that you are not suffering so much with bingeing and purging. The only other suggestion I would make is that it might be possible you are eating hidden sugars and acids e.g. fruit juice, smoothies or even drinking fruit teas which really are really erosive on teeth enamel.
Some dentists have no idea. Some are incredibly kind.
I hope you manage to change to a different one, it sounds difficult with him working around but maybe one day it will be possible.
kill him not really
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