Recurring ednos(8 Posts)
Hello. I am posting because I feel really out of control and don't know what to do. I have had a problem for about twenty-two years on and off. I get a bit chubby and then decide to lose weight. I do so by counting calories and doing exercise but then eventually I slip and end up putting it all back on. when dieting I get obsessed with food to the point it's all I can think about. after a time I inevitably start binging and purging.
right now I feel like I am at rock bottom. I am down to borderline size 8 and I run a lot, which I love and I feel healthier and better for, but at weekends I get into this binging cycle and feel so guilty and rubbish. I feel like I am harming myself and my teeth and I have two dds that I would hate to ever suffer the same sorts of issues. but I can't bear to think that what I eat is going to make me fat again and I am so greedy I can't seem to live without guzzling chocolate and stuff so I eat it, feel guilty and panicked so I eat and eat and then vomit. I then feel stupid because I am way too old for an ed and I am an intelligent, fortunate person who ought to know better.
I gave been to the gp and a counsellor in the past but it hasn't helped.
I M finding "getting better bite by bite" and overcoming binge eating by fairburn....
Didn't finish. I meant I'm currently finding them both helpful at the moment.
I'm v intelligent. I don't think that has anything to do with it (other than the perfectionist streak which often goes with ed ) and there's plenty of us older types with an ed.
The cycle you describe is so familiar. I'd really recommend the fair urn book in particular.
Thank you, I will look into it. I need to do something about it. it was really kind of you to reply. good luck.
I would also recommend 'Overcoming Binge Eating'. My recovery started with his book. If you feel like chatting to others struggling with the same thing and getting some support you can find us here, we're a friendly bunch.
I also wanted to say op, having these problems isn't linked to age. How you feel and the struggles with food don't make you any less of a person. You are still very much that intelligent and capable person. It just takes time to work through and get to recovery. You have reached out for support with this post and that is a step in the right direction.x
The BEAT website (old Eating Disorders Association) is very good. Also agree with the above recommended books. Particularly like Bite by Bite.
I used to have bulimia and now am recovered and support others and blog about having a healthy relationship with food without disordered eating or dieting. www.rethinkyourbody.co.uk
All the best with getting the support you need.
Sorry I have no advice, just an observation.i am a dietitian and I am increasingly convinced there is a massively under recognised problem of older women with eating disorders. I have come across several women, referred to me for completely different issues, and gradually it emerges they have a background of EDs . Not surprising really, eating disorders unfortunately don't just evaporate away after age 25. But maybe because the media focuses on young women so much, and there s a lot of secrecy around the condition, it s very under recognised. I hope you get better.
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