Should I quit IVF at 35 or go to donor eggs/embryo?

(3 Posts)
NShine Wed 07-Apr-21 16:53:40

Hi all, I've read so many mumsnet conversations over the years and never posted anything until now. I'm married, aged 35, with a 7 year old child and after a number of unsuccessful rounds of ICSI, I think my consultant will suggest going to donor eggs/embryos next.
Really don't know what to do, my partner and I could get over the lack of genetic connection but I'm not sure I can face more cycles. Also, we're Asian so that adds another complication trying to find Asian donors.
I don't think either of us are up for adoption, we're scared that an adopted child would be too much to take on for us and detrimental to our birth DD. However, we always imagined our life with 2 children.

This is my history:
2013 - Had ICSI due to mild MFI (low motility), resulted in DD born 2014
2017 - FET, had a miscarriage at 6 wks
2019 - Stage 3 Endometriosis discovered, had laparascopy to remove.
2019 - ICSI, 5 eggs collected, 1 average 3DT transferred, nothing to freeze, had BFP but miscarriage soon after.
2020 - ICSI, 8 eggs collected but sperm was terrible in that cycle, nothing to freeze, 2 average embryos, had 3DT, BFN
2021 - ICSI, switched clinics, 14 eggs collected of which 13 mature, 5 fertilised, 1 embryo, 5DT, BFN. Nothing to freeze. Had intralipids with that cycle as Level 1 and 2 tests confirmed high NK cells.

Any helpful advice welcome.

OP’s posts: |
SingleTTC31 Thu 08-Apr-21 19:41:35

Hi, sorry you are going through such a tough time to conceive. If they previously identified MFI, could a sperm donor be an option? I am just starting IUI so don't really know much about IVF, other than it is pretty invasive. Could the MC and BFN be linked to the embryo not being viable due to make factor rather than down to your eggs?
Also have you been taking supplements to help egg quality, such as CoQ10? "It Starts with the Egg" is a very interesting book with ideas to help boost fertility if you haven't read that already.

I hope someone else comes along with some more insight/advice for you flowers

Coachee Thu 08-Apr-21 20:10:14

That sounds so tough. I did 3 IVF cycles - 1x early miscarriage, 1x BFN but 2 embryos for the freezer, and 1x FET BFP but mmc at 11 weeks. I don’t blame you for not wanting to do more, it is so grueling.

It sounds like there are challenges with both getting enough embryos to fertilize and also getting conditions right for transfer. Donor eggs might overcome this but it could just lead to more miscarriages. It feels like there is more to figure out that just a straight move to donor eggs. For example, could it be worth trying steroids for NK issues.

Has your DH taken steps to try and improve sperm quality?

I know this might sound a bit simplistic - but have you tried taking low dose aspirin? This is the thing that changed everything for me, and it’s so cheap and easy to do. I have one DD - after my 3 IVF cycles, I started taking aspirin and was able to get pregnant naturally, have since conceived naturally 4 times but as yet don’t have DC2 as two of those have been losses.

Knowing when to stop is a big thing, it’s a hard decision to make but it’s a valid choice. I think we get sold this ‘never give up’ narrative in relation to fertility but it is more than ok to say enough is enough.

Whatever you do, good luck. I know what it’s like to have given up so many years of life to ttc. ♥️

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