I want to donate - advice please

[mantengalacalma]

Hello, I've wanted to donate my eggs for about a year now. I'm in my twenties and I am finished having children of my own (I'm 99.9% sure I won't have any more).
I like the idea of helping someone else who is struggling to conceive, have a baby.
I am just wondering if someone that has donated can offer any advice please.
I don't really have any concerns for myself but mentally I'm curious how I'll feel if one of my eggs is successfully used? I know I will feel pleased, but has anyone felt anything else? And will it affect my own children in their future? Because biologically them and the baby will be related, is that right?
Please no negative comments, thank you in advance x

[totalnamechanger]

Hi mantengalacalma that really is a generous thought. I’m sure others can advise further but you could try Altrui. I’m thinking of using the agency if we do go down the route of using donor eggs. My reason for probably choosing them is almost entirely because of how they treat their donors. You could give them a ring and I’m sure you’d get a feeling about whether this is right for you and your family or not. Thank you for considering it.

[MaggieAndHopey]

Hi, I've done two rounds of egg donation, of which only the first was successful. I did feel emotional about both results, obviously in different ways.

It's quite an invasive and involved process - you're basically doing an IVF cycle but without the implantation at the end. And if you're anything like me, you'll be aware all the time of the recipient - who is anonymous of course, but you can't help imagining what she is going through - I think most people go the donor egg route after many attempts to conceive in other ways so you feel there's a lot riding on it. And your cycles are synchronised - so that the recipient is ready for implantation just as the eggs are ready for retrieval - so there's that link between you as well. I think you have to be quite mentally robust not to feel undue pressure to 'get it right' for this person (pressure I put on myself I should say - the clinic staff were totally professional)

You're right - you will feel more than pleased if it goes well but you also should prepare yourself for the (quite high) possibility that it won't. However, important to know that you don't have to find out either way, if you don't want to. And I still don't regret that second cycle even though it was unsuccessful.

You will get counselling before you make the decision, to make sure you understand everything involved, and all the implications if it goes right or wrong. Also how you would feel about any possible future baby born as a result of the donation is discussed. They may want to get in touch one day - they have the right to know who you are when they turn 18. That's if they ever know they were conceived with a donor egg - some parents decide not to tell.

Do you have a partner, and if so would you have their full support? I think that's important, it can be quite an isolating experience. But I'd do it again if I was still under 35! Make of that what you will. Best of luck to you.

[MaggieAndHopey]

(I donated at my local NHS clinic, btw)

[tomorrowthesunwillrise]

Thank you so much @MaggieAndHopey. You have literally detailed in your message everything that I wanted to know. Thank you for being so helpful and it was good to know how you felt personally going through the experience. Also, I didn't know you could donate to the NHS. That's also good to know. Thanks so much again and what you did was amazing and very generous! :-)

[jemimafuddleduck]

Please don't go to Altrui. They are rip off merchants and charge the recipient lots of money just to be matched. If you contact your local NHS clinic that would be much better. Thank you for thinking of doing such a wonderful thing xx

[tomorrowthesunwillrise]

Thank you @jemimafuddleduck, that's really helpful info. I definitely won't go via them :-)

[MaggieAndHopey]

ah, you're welcome @tomorrowthesunwillrise! Let me know if you want to know anything else :)