Would you go abroad for ivf at 49?

[Babyornotbaby]

Just that really. My partner is younger than me, he has no children, mine are grown up (youngest is 20).

He’s keen for a family, but it’s not a deal breaker.

I know we would have to go abroad, and probably use donor eggs.

Would you, if you were me?

Also if this isn’t in the right place, please can you tell me where I should get it moved to.

Thanks in advance.

[FloatingthroughSpace]

I am a similar age, my youngest is at primary school. Tbh I cannot think of starting again with babies at this age. If you conceived immediately, you would be 60 and the child would be still at primary school. Do you really have the motivation to redo sleepless nights and baby groups, pram research and talk of bowel movements and the new must have item with women in many cases 20 years younger?

It wouldn't be for me. But I am not you.

[Cutesbabasmummy]

I was 39 when we had our DE baby. I think that Was quite old. I wouldn't have wanted to be older.

[Tipsylizard]

Hi. I have two donor conceived children born at 45 and 47. I am now 49. They are amazing kids and feel very lucky to have finally become a mum with the help of a kind stranger. Both my pregnancies were regular and births fairly straight forward. I recovered well. I have nothing to compare it too as I didn't have children younger but people tell me that the energy difference is quite a big thing I work full time and have two stepchildren as well so am always completely knackered. By the time they are in secondary school, I will be ready to retire with a good pension....in time to become a granny to my step kids children probably

My husband would have been happy to stick with two but I wanted to have children and so he agreed to make me happy. He is an excellent father to all four but I would make sure that YOU want any potential child(ren) because it is likely that you will be doing the lions share of the caring. Personally I wouldn't have it any other way but can imagine why people would shy away from it. Good luck with your deliberations.

[justjuggling]

I’m 45 and considering this too. Have made the step of talking to various clinics but have yet to commit fully to doing it although my other half is very keen. I gave a teen and a tween and am somewhat apprehensive about starting again but would love to have a baby with my new partner. Tricky decision! Good luck deciding what to do! Xx

[englishdictionary]

In your situation I wouldn't no. You haven't given any reason why you should, other than to please him. I can understand people doing it out of desperation, but to please someone else? No way.

[Cocorocky1]

I am 45 have a 15 year old son and suffered a ectopic last year, wasnt on the radar before then but lost about 4 since then. We fly out on the 1st of May for our first IVF Cycle i am excited, scared and on medication that has sent me in to a hormonal wreck but we want it enough so we are having egg donation x

[Nightella]

I am 49, husband is 54, we have 3 kids from previous marriages 2 x 24 and 17. But we really wanted one of our own. Tried since 45, had 2 BFP’s but ended up chemicals. Knocked the idea on the head for a year or so then September 18 my hubby said let give IVF one go and see 😊
Long story short we went to perlargos clinic in Athens, Harry Karpoulis was our consulatant and held our hands through the whole exciting, nerve racking process. We used DE obviously because of my age....they have donors in cycle every month so there’s no waiting. All meds were sent to me from Greece to the UK. One healthy 5 day fresh blastocyst and a BFP 2 weeks later 🎉
I’m now almost 10 weeks and we have our first scan on Monday. Couldn’t be happier (even though I’m exhausted and nauseous 😆) and can’t wait for this new adventure in our lives.

[2eternities]

Almost 50 years old is way too old ime very unfair to land a child with such an ancient parent, my mum was a grandmother to 3 at that age. General health doesn't even come into it imo its way too old. Especially when you already have kids! There's a reason the vast vast majority of women cannot conceive and carry to term naturally at your age.

[Upfeet]

No, I wouldn't put my body through pregnancy at 49 unless I really really wanted them and did not already have any. If you give birth at 50 you are going to be 68 in their final school year and in your 70s when they are at university.

[Decormad38]

Personally no. I would feel at 49 that my eggs were not going to produce anything. However I do understand the need to conceive but biology and the ageing process cannot be ignored.

[Bluerussian]

Absolutely not! The chances are the IVF wouldn't work anyway, it so often fails with women younger than you. Why waste money? You say having children is not a deal breaker for your partner, take him at his word.