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Anyone used the co-parenting site?

(12 Posts)
coparenting Mon 05-Feb-18 19:24:09

I'm not really sure where to start. I don't want a relationship just a coparenting set up

UrgentExitRequired Tue 13-Feb-18 21:01:28

Coparent website is a good place to start. There are plenty of men and women who are looking for sperm donation or coparenting. Good luck x

Chattein Mon 19-Feb-18 17:36:06

We have, we were very apprehensive at the start but after meeting our potential donar multiple times it all went swimmingly! (No pun intended)

Just on our 2WW!

charlieshayes Sun 18-Mar-18 00:16:16

We met a fantastic donor on the coparents site.
We did have to go through some awkward messaging and had a few quite awkward telephone conversations, but once we came across this guy, we knew he was the right one.
We are now 6 weeks pregnant with AI baby and couldn't be happier.
Good luck

cockupparent Mon 19-Mar-18 23:26:50

Thanks. I did use the site and found someone who I may potentially go into a coparenting arrangement with.

Just wish there was a "we" rather than a "me" involved!

Hellomumsne Tue 20-Mar-18 11:51:44

I was also thinking about starting a thread on this. Due to a relationship ending at 38, I'm considering conceiving as a single woman using donor sperm but also feel a bit sad that my child would't have a father - and that I'd be the sole carer while working full time which would be full on and difficult.

I've considered using the coparenting website to find someone who is also interested in having a child that we could share custody of... however, I'm wondering what sort of men are interested in this (the coparenting arrangement, rather than donor arrangement).

Has anyone else done this and felt happy leaving their child with this relative stranger for weekends etc...? Does anyone have any experience of they types of men that are looking for this sort of arrangement?

BubbleAndSquark Tue 20-Mar-18 11:56:40

I personally would think very carefully before going into this rather than standard donation.
Whilst I'm sure the majority of men on the site have good intentions, you will be trusting someone you barely know to be alone with your child, and likely from an age before they can speak. It seems like a set up that has the potential to attract people with bad intentions.

Hellomumsne Tue 20-Mar-18 11:57:37

Incidentally, I'm currently working on a fixed term contract, so don't have access to maternity leave, or anything in the way of family support nearby to help with childcare, so a coparenting arrangement sounds ideal in theory... would love to hear anyone else's thought on this...? Would a gay couple be more trustworthy than a single man who for some reason wants to go this route for example...?

Hellomumsne Tue 20-Mar-18 12:06:15

Hi Bubble, yes that concerns me too. I've googled a couple of the single men on the site and found their real LinkedIn an social media profiles and they seem normal but I still really wonder about why they choose to do this and whether their intentions are as honourable as they say... I think maybe I'd trust a gay couple more that a single man, as they would want to start a family unit as a normal progression to a relationship...

BubbleAndSquark Tue 20-Mar-18 12:22:21

I agree I would find a gay couple, or even single gay man easier to trust, equally possibly 45+ a man may be in a similar position to you age wise of thinking he hasn't got time fertility wise to find and establish a relationship.
A younger, heterosexual man I would find it slightly strange to actively seek out single parenthood.

cockupparent Tue 20-Mar-18 12:37:26

The man I have met on the site seems nice enough. Single, attractive and young enough and it does bother me why is he choosing this.

He says he has struggled in relationships and hasn't met the woman he wants to commit to for life but wants desperately to be a father.

Ultimately though... I'm not going to actually take action to conceive by him until I feel I know him well enough that I can call him in the middle of the night, or could have him stay over to help out the first few weeks with a newborn etc

I'm just going to treat it like a relationship that never became a serious one if I do fall pg and people ask.

BubbleAndSquark Tue 20-Mar-18 13:20:51

Cockup, that seems a sensible way to do it. I would make sure things like general parenting views, amount of parenting time each and flexibility over this, expectations with financial support/nursery fees and how this will be split etc is fully discussed too.

Things like staying living a small distance apart so the child isn't having to spent lots of time travelling, what age you are happy to be away from baby or for overnights, what the arrangements will be for birthdays and christmas etc will be useful to cover too.
Its easy to fall out over things when you don't have the bond of a relationship to help work through it, especially when it's about something as important as children, though hopefully it will be easier coparenting in this situation as there wont be bad feelings between you as it starts out.

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