Talk

Advanced search

Do I need to explain myself?

(7 Posts)
explain Thu 12-Oct-17 18:58:25

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant via donor. I have just started to tell friends and family of the news. The majority of them I have told that I am pregnant by an ex and my really close friends I have told the truth of it all. However a few friends have taken it really badly and are demanded answers as to how I got pregnant and why I would sleep so carelessly with an ex?! Now i feel awful for lying, as this baby was 100% planned (via donor). I will be facing this particular friend later in the month and he is demanding answers. Do I tell him the truth knowing that he is completely against women choosing to have children on their own?

Theducksarenotmyfriends Thu 12-Oct-17 19:04:59

Why are you friends with him? He sounds like a twat. Who is he to 'demand' answers off you?!

HeyRoly Thu 12-Oct-17 19:10:15

I can understand why you don't want to get into a debate about donor conception, but perhaps it's better to be honest and say this baby was planned rather than conceived via ONS.

As for your friend, he's clearly a massive prick if he thinks he has a right to interrogate you about your sex life (I know you didn't sleep with an ex but you know what I mean) or your life choices.

CandleLit Thu 12-Oct-17 19:17:49

If he expresses anything other than congratulations, thell him the topic is off the table. No need to explain yourself.

seven201 Thu 12-Oct-17 19:53:54

I think you need to be honest. What if one of the people you've lied to bumps into your ex? Or in the future feels your child should have a relationship with the ex and tells your dc. Anyone who doesn't agree with you using a donor can fuck off and if they can't support you, you don't want or need them in your life anyway. Stop the lies now before you get into a big tangle.

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 12-Oct-17 20:05:39

Your friend sounds like an utter twat and no friend at all.

But, I would tell the truth. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and as the baby grows up s/he will probably also want to know about it all. Bit awkward if half of your friends think your ex is involved.

explain Thu 12-Oct-17 20:27:23

I feel awful for lying. I shouldn't have.

I plan on tell the baby the whole truth and will not be keeping this a secret from him.

Ultimately I feel that because not everyone will agree with my decision, I'd rather not tell them as it's very personal. In retrospect I should have told my not so close friends that I was pregnant and that was that!

@CandleLit Deep down that is how i feel but just difficult to say that to someone face to face

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now