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Do I need to explain myself?

(7 Posts)
explain Thu 12-Oct-17 18:58:25

Hi everyone,

I'm currently pregnant via donor. I have just started to tell friends and family of the news. The majority of them I have told that I am pregnant by an ex and my really close friends I have told the truth of it all. However a few friends have taken it really badly and are demanded answers as to how I got pregnant and why I would sleep so carelessly with an ex?! Now i feel awful for lying, as this baby was 100% planned (via donor). I will be facing this particular friend later in the month and he is demanding answers. Do I tell him the truth knowing that he is completely against women choosing to have children on their own?

Theducksarenotmyfriends Thu 12-Oct-17 19:04:59

Why are you friends with him? He sounds like a twat. Who is he to 'demand' answers off you?!

HeyRoly Thu 12-Oct-17 19:10:15

I can understand why you don't want to get into a debate about donor conception, but perhaps it's better to be honest and say this baby was planned rather than conceived via ONS.

As for your friend, he's clearly a massive prick if he thinks he has a right to interrogate you about your sex life (I know you didn't sleep with an ex but you know what I mean) or your life choices.

CandleLit Thu 12-Oct-17 19:17:49

If he expresses anything other than congratulations, thell him the topic is off the table. No need to explain yourself.

seven201 Thu 12-Oct-17 19:53:54

I think you need to be honest. What if one of the people you've lied to bumps into your ex? Or in the future feels your child should have a relationship with the ex and tells your dc. Anyone who doesn't agree with you using a donor can fuck off and if they can't support you, you don't want or need them in your life anyway. Stop the lies now before you get into a big tangle.

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 12-Oct-17 20:05:39

Your friend sounds like an utter twat and no friend at all.

But, I would tell the truth. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and as the baby grows up s/he will probably also want to know about it all. Bit awkward if half of your friends think your ex is involved.

explain Thu 12-Oct-17 20:27:23

I feel awful for lying. I shouldn't have.

I plan on tell the baby the whole truth and will not be keeping this a secret from him.

Ultimately I feel that because not everyone will agree with my decision, I'd rather not tell them as it's very personal. In retrospect I should have told my not so close friends that I was pregnant and that was that!

@CandleLit Deep down that is how i feel but just difficult to say that to someone face to face

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