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42 and want a baby.... husband has had a vasectomy!

(6 Posts)
Welshmamma Thu 12-Jan-17 14:00:56

Ok, I'm 42. I have three kids and I know I am very lucky! My husband has four kids too. Three of them live with us so our home is busy.
He had a vasectomy over ten years ago and I had never considered another baby.
I was in a really bad relationship, and in a very bad place when I met my husband so having children hadn't even crossed my mind.
We got married in November and having a baby is all I seem to think about! I finally have genuine, kind and gentle man who shows me so much love and I so desperately want a baby with him!!!
I am 42.... he is sterile! I wish I didn't feel like this but I really can't help it 😕 If we go for a reversal it will take us time to save to money and then no guarantee it will work and I may sterile myself by then x it's breaking my heart .... anyone else in the same boat? X

JackieMac77 Fri 13-Jan-17 09:26:57

Not in the same boat myself, but I know someone who was. Given your age, vasectomy and the number of children you already have, I'd suggest trying to come to terms with having no more babies rather than focussing on how to make it happen. There are other beautiful things you can create together and jointly nurture, develop and take pleasure in their blossoming: A garden, a lovely home, a pet, a hobby such as dancing or cooking.

My friends who were in your position several years ago put their joint efforts into creating a lovely home - renovating furniture, decorating, planning and growing a small but exquisite garden, along with doing their best for their existing children and making it a warm and loving blended family.

Welshmamma Sat 14-Jan-17 18:31:35

Thanks for your reply.

I have tried to focus on what we have rather than what we don't have. I have never ever been a glass half full person. I have a gorgeous home, lovely kids and now a lovely husband and step kids.

I just have this awful bloody feeling almost like grief..... it's insane x

CritterPants Fri 17-Feb-17 17:16:30

Have you talked to him about it? I'm sure you already know that is possible to reverse a vasectomy. I have a friend who did IVF at 41 after her husband had a vasectomy reversal (long story). It cost them a LOT of money and was not an easy process but they did eventually have a beautiful baby girl. I guess the question is: to what extent are you prepared to pursue this?

Welshmamma Wed 22-Feb-17 23:08:03

Thanks #Critterpants smilebiscuit We have talked about it quite a lot the last few weeks and we both feel we would like to at least try xx So treatment may be an option x

akuabadoll Wed 22-Feb-17 23:14:47

Critterpants, I haven't seen that name in a while. Is it really you? winkgrin
OP good luck with your decision.

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