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Thinking about ttc with donor sperm as single woman

(10 Posts)
tygr Sun 08-Jan-17 23:33:28

Hi

This is my first thread on this topic and I will have a proper look around as I know lots of other people have been in this situation but I wanted to have my own thread to help me get my thoughts together.

I turn 40 this month. I'm single. I hoped that I'd find the right relationship to have children within but it hasn't happened.

I've been alternating between denial and panic that I've missed my chance for the last few years. I know it might be too late already. I've never been pregnant. I don't know if I'm fertile. It bothers me a lot.

Now I'm turning 40, i think I might just have to buy the bullet and try to go it alone. I'd be very grateful for any suggestions from those with more experience to help me make the decision and how to go about it.

HopingForALittleOne Mon 09-Jan-17 20:13:34

Hello smileyou can pay to test your hormone level and also a scan to look at follicles and how many you have produced that month. It will let you know how your fertility compares to averages for your age. I went to a London women's clinic seminar and got a voucher to get these tests done half price . That might help you work out what you would like to do. The seminar also gives you information of what some of the fertility options there are ( iui, ivf, donor eggs). Good luck xxxx

tygr Mon 09-Jan-17 21:20:35

Thank you!

After I posted last night I googled clinics and had a look at donor pages but then I always get overwhelmed at that point. I think it might be an idea to go to a seminar. Thanks for the tip. I'll see what's available near me.

HopingForALittleOne Tue 10-Jan-17 21:12:22

Good luck and hope seminar helps you decide what to do xxx

Latenightreader Thu 12-Jan-17 17:22:58

I''m in a similar position and am currently deciding whether to move on from IUI to ICSI. Clinics will do the tests and give you an idea what your egg reserve is, and that will help you. Most clinics seem to do a free initial meeting/consultation which will give you an idea of options.

This thread (http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs) and its predecessors will give you an idea of the journey - lots of people at different stages including some just starting out. Best of luck!

PhoenixMama Wed 08-Mar-17 11:25:55

Hi Tygr - I'm about to turn 42 and in such a similar place (although with a second rather than a first). It is scary and sometimes being a single parent is too but I think it's worth it.

Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling? I've been seeing a therapist and it's helped. I guess I realised I'd regret not trying more...

LondonStill83 Wed 08-Mar-17 11:46:52

Op, I have a friend who faced almost exactly the same dilemma. She decided to try buying three lots of donor sperm to see if she fell pregnant, and promised herself she would stop after that if nothing worked. She got pregnant the second cycle and now has a beautiful daughter. I have never seen a woman so happy!

somethingrosier Thu 18-May-17 10:09:10

I mean I think you can actually just ask your GP for these tests, if you ask them and explain you can get those tests done with them – I believe the only think they don't do is the AMH test which will test your egg reserves, this is something that'll only be done at a clinic.

Going it alone isn't nearly as hard as people think, or say. We, as humans, adapt. It's what we do.

Rockhopper81 Tue 23-May-17 23:46:50

I think I commented on your other thread? Just to say - I had the scan done privately, but I asked my GP for blood tests for my hormone levels, which they did. My blood tests were for: hormone profile, full blood count, thyroid function and kidney function. Won't the hormone profile include AMH somethingrosier? (Genuine question!)

I have PCOS, so my GP referred my to a gynaecologist as I am 'thinking about conception' - obviously there's no NHS funding available to help me get pregnant, but I'm hopeful the gynaecologist can help with regulating cycles and/or promoting ovulation.

Maybe have a chat with your GP first - I was nervous about talking to mine about it, but just bit the bullet and got it over with. Turns out she is actually very supportive about it all. When I went to ask for the blood test, I actually said, 'if you don't ask you don't get - refusal won't offend', to which she laughed, agreed and then gave me the blood test form. Just to note, I'm the least confident person ever, but I just feel I need to 'give it my all' as I really feel I'm meant to be a mother.

somethingrosier Wed 24-May-17 07:59:47

Rockhopper, as far as I was told, at the GP, it's a test that's far too expensive for them to just do without a reason. I think it's something the NHS could possibly do if you end up needing to visit one of their fertility clinics, but don't quote me on it. Exactly as your GP said, though! If you don't ask, you don't get! I always liked to book my appointments with the younger and less experienced GPs, they were always more likely to just hand the forms over hahaha.

I also have (had?) pcos, after my son passed away I asked them to refer me somewhere but it took 6 months to get an appointment – turns out I didn't need it. Stuck to cycle tracking (like "natural contraception" lol) with cheap strip OPKs from amazon and Basal Body Temperature!

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