Looking at doing it alone

(10 Posts)
YorkshirePanda Tue 17-May-16 07:57:35

I'm desperate for a child, I go to sleep and wake up thinking about it.
I'm 28, and want to make this happen. I'm in a great job that pays fantastically, I've got a lovely house too. I'm prepared and have structured for everything possible.
As I'm gay getting a child the 'normal' way is out of the question. So it looks like I'll be going to a clinic or asking a friend that I know and trust to donate.
I know I can do this as a single mum and be absolutely fine, but part of me wonders whether I should consider co-parenting more with a friend I know as I don't want them to feel like the odd one out. (Maybe I'm thinking too much.)
If I do it alone though I will have to go back to work as I want to provide my child with the best life possible, and quite frankly I won't be able to do that without working.
Is there any help from birth for working single mum's. I'm not sure where to look for the help part.
Sorry for the rambling but any help or advice would be appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
Cally70 Tue 17-May-16 18:53:57

I'm a single mum by choice to two donor conceived children. I have never regretted it for a second. smile

Try playing around with the calculator on the 'entitled to' website to see if you're likely to be entitled to any benefits. It will depend on your income & any savings (> £6k) that you have.

Personally, I would not consider a co-parenting arrangement with a friend. I went down the clinic route.

You might want to have a look at the singles boards on Fertility Friends. You'll find plenty of advice & info on that forum.

Good luck

YorkshirePanda Wed 18-May-16 07:30:05

Thanks Cally smile
The reason why I had considered co-parenting is because the friend that offered is gay, we've been best friends for years. The only thing that put me off was whether not it would change our friendship, which I'm pretty sure it would. As I told him it's a long term commitment that he can't back out of. Not that he would but I still felt the need to tell him so. I probably will end up going down the private route, that's the route I'm heading towards anyway.

I will definitely look at what I am possibly entitled to. As mainly I'm worried about child care, as it will be 5 days a week and I may also need someone to babysit on Saturdays, as I live no where near my family I would possibly need to rely on friends, unless I can find a child minder for Saturday's too.

Thanks for the fertility friends recommendation I'll definitely look it up now. smile

OP’s posts: |
Cally70 Wed 18-May-16 19:37:24

Why would you need a babysitter on Saturdays too? Do you work 6 days p/w?

YorkshirePanda Thu 19-May-16 06:29:45

I work alternate weekends so I either work a Monday to Friday week with the weekend off, or a Tuesday to Saturday week with Sunday and Monday off.

OP’s posts: |
starpatch Sat 28-May-16 17:07:36

I am gay too went down the single parenting route. I am a bit envious of those with co-parents involved though! Obviously you have to be pretty confident of the relationship because they will have parents rights. I was planning to go back to work after maternity leave but didn't be prepared that being a parent is really demanding- you might not manage full-time work while yours is small. That's really exciting though good luck to you.

goinggrey1978 Thu 18-Aug-16 17:33:04

single parent to be by choice here to, i'm currently 22 weeks with pregnant, i used donor sperm and donor eggs and i'm very grateful and glad i decided to do this on my own after 3 years of fertility investigations and this being my 2nd ivf cycle, i'm so lucky and incredibly grateful to both my sperm donor and egg donor for giving me the opportunity to become a parent, i'm 38 now and i'm also very lucky to have 6 siblings in the freezer available at a later time to make a full sibling for this one due in December

Tes01 Thu 08-Sep-16 21:14:56

I'm looking for a donor sperm. Does anyone have any experience of using a company and had success. I'm having IVF in London.



goinggrey1978 Thu 08-Sep-16 22:14:00

I used the London sperm bank underneath the London woman's clinic in Harley street, all online as well and I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant as well!!

user1474268990 Mon 19-Sep-16 08:20:04

I have never used so don't have any idea.

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