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We have our own topic!!!

(101 Posts)
LyndaNotLinda Fri 11-Mar-16 19:39:54

At last - so exciting!

I feel like I'm at a private view with 100 plastic cups of wine on the table in front of me, pacing.

Ahem - I'm a single parent to a 9 year old DS (well, 9 in a few days but that's mere detail). I'm a member of DCN too but their message boards are terribly quiet so I hope we get a bit more of a conversation going here. And that no one mentions turkey basters.

So, that's me. I know there's more of you out there

<rearranges cups to hide the 3 I've necked in nervousness>

hopeful31yrs Fri 11-Mar-16 20:32:24

I'll pop my head in esp. with wine on offer (although 4 weeks pregnant).

Donor sperm here - IUI for DD (2) and ICSI with limited sperm (same donor only 2 vials left) sample for numero deux. DH has azoospermia.


ElizabethG81 Fri 11-Mar-16 21:28:10

Hooray! I'm a single parent to 3 year old twins conceived through IVF with donor sperm. I also have 5 frozen embryos and am constantly going back and forth in my mind at the moment about whether to use them to try for number 3.

I think there are quite a lot of us on here Lynda, certainly more than I've ever met in real life! I look forward to more of us joining the board smile

LyndaNotLinda Fri 11-Mar-16 21:49:24

Congratulations, hopeful! Small glass for you then (tbh, these plastic cups are tiny).

Hello Elizabeth - wow, you're so brave! I'm just about coping with one. I have had moments of thinking of going for #2 but time has passed (along with my eggs).

There are definitely lots of us here - I can think of at least 5 off the top of my head so hopefully they'll pop in to say hello.

hopeful31yrs Fri 11-Mar-16 22:10:36

Thanks! Hi Elizabeth. We've only popped one back in so hopefully it has stayed that way! Have 2 on ice at the moment in case we have the moment of madness in future for more (we're both 1 of 3 siblings) but think this will be it for us.

GoatEye Fri 11-Mar-16 22:19:14

Ooh. Exciting. Single parent to a 5 and 2 year-old here.

<takes cup of wine in each hand>

lokijet Sat 12-Mar-16 00:01:19

hi single parent to DS 5 (donor ivf) - glad we have a thread to chat

getyourselfchecked Sat 12-Mar-16 11:53:27

Hello there! I am due any day now. Single with donor-conceived baby in utero!

Interesting to see some singles have done this more than once. I am still trying to work out how I will cope with it all! Although I seem to have taken it all in my stride so far despite a v complicated pregnancy.

How do you singles manage with being the only one with ALL the responsibility?

GRW Sat 12-Mar-16 17:20:37

I am single too and my DD has just turned 18 and is in her final year at school. Having her was the best decision I ever made. She is applying to universities far from home, so that will be a big change in September.

HawkeyeInConfusion Sat 12-Mar-16 17:29:34

Good luck getyourself. Have you got someone to be with you for the birth? Or don't you want anyone?

In a way, I like having all the responsibility. It's rubbish when they're ill and I have no one to worry with me. But against that, I didn't have to compromise on choosing their name, nor do I have to on parenting style.

Carajillo Sat 12-Mar-16 19:03:09

Hello everyone!

I am a single mum with 9 year old boy/girl twins who were conceived using donor embryo in Spain! Also a member of DCN and have been telling them since they were two. Have had lots of challenging and surprising conversations with my two about being donor conceived, but since they turned 8, the questions have really come pretty thick and fast!

I am very open, including with their school and so far, have found most people to have been very supportive. However, I am in London so maybe that is a bit different? I don't tell all and sundry however and very soon, my kids my decide that they don't want me to talk about it at all and leave it to them?

Lovely to meet you all!
C xxx

Mner Sat 12-Mar-16 19:16:18

We have a son - 4yrs - born by egg donation also in Spain.

birdandbee Sat 12-Mar-16 19:52:43

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with dc1, conceiving with home IUI with donor sperm.... After 2 failed rounds of IVF....

getyourselfchecked Sat 12-Mar-16 20:21:27

Thanks Hawkeye. I think I will be alone for the birth. Friends live far away and I am a private kind of person. I don't really mind and I am happy for people to come and keep me company (and bring supplies) if I have long labour.

It will be interesting to chat about how you broached questions from the children. I plan on being totally open with my child but I know that it's so important to do it right so I don't mess him up!

HawkeyeInConfusion Sun 13-Mar-16 14:58:25

I've been totally open with my eldest. The youngest is a bit too young for any real conversation yet.

With other people, I have told them if they ask. But not volunteered it. Everyone I have told has been totally supportive.

ElizabethG81 Sun 13-Mar-16 16:54:07

How old are your two Hawkeye? I've had general conversations with mine about our family not having a daddy but haven't gone any further than that yet. I think the daddy issue only came up as they have noticed other children being picked up by dads at nursery. They also call most men "daddies" so don't really get the concept of what it means yet. I'd be interested to hear when others have gone into more detailed conversation about donors.

Backingvocals Sun 13-Mar-16 20:38:34

Hi all! I have two DCs by the same anon donor - they are 9and 6. They know their story but aren't all that interested tbh. It helps that they have friends at school with similar stories - we are in London so lots of different sorts of families.

Best thing I ever did (though I wish they'd go to bed right now!)

HawkeyeInConfusion Sun 13-Mar-16 22:16:02

Mine are 5 and 2.

Same feelings here backing. Best thing I ever did too.

Mner Mon 14-Mar-16 13:58:50

We bought a book from DCN, which explains it all in a really friendly and clear way. I don't know if they do a book for single parents though - it's all "Mummy and Daddy did this etc".

From the book, DS used to do quite a few sperm drawings when he was younger. Hehe. I haven't read it to him in a while but he likes it and understands in as far as he can (he's 4).

OM154 Mon 14-Mar-16 14:19:56

DC Network certainly do do a book for solo mums - a pre-printed one for those who have just used sperm donation and books that can be customised on demand for those using double or embryo donation/have conceived abroad/have twins etc.

withatraceofmisty Mon 14-Mar-16 16:42:11

Hello all, single mum to dd2 (donor ivf) here. Nice to meet you all (and sorry to have missed the wine) wink

And yes, I agree that it's the best thing I ever did! I can't imagine how my life would be without her. I've had moments of thinking about trying for #2, but feel that time has passed now.

I've also been pondering the question of what to tell my wee one. So far the question hasn't come up, but she is becoming aware of other children's daddies. I'd forgotten all about the DCN, must have another look on their website.

LyndaNotLinda Mon 14-Mar-16 17:26:31

I think I need a new book for DS now he's older. The DCN Our Story one is fab (one of my friends customised hers - adding in their own photos etc which I thought was a great idea) but he's a bit old for it now.

It's about what he tells his friends really - he just says he doesn't have a dad but as he's now getting to an age where they're starting to talk about sex ed, that isn't going to cut it

BlueKarou Mon 14-Mar-16 17:52:48

Well look at this place, all shiny and new!

So, um, hi. I'm Karou, single parent to one little boy, 4 weeks old today. Used donor sperm from ESB to conceive, and IVF. One frozen embryo in storage. Also donated eggs at the same time, so have had a glimpse of both sides of the donor world.

OM154 Mon 14-Mar-16 18:18:49

LyndanotLinda: DCN has a wonderful adventure/story book for 8 - 12 year olds called Archie Nolan: Family Detective. It features children from all family and donation types and answers lots of their questions but DC issues are interwoven with a vampire story that this age group really seem to like.Read more here

mycatsloveeachother Mon 14-Mar-16 18:19:24


I'm hoping to start donor IUI this summer!

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