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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Child maintenance and turning 18yrs

38 replies

Iloverupertp · 04/03/2021 07:14

My DD has just turned 18 so child maintenance has now stopped.What set up did you have with your exdh once this happened? I have paid for everything out of the maintenance including driving lessons.insurance etc.
My dd has discussed this with her dad and he’s told her he doesn’t have to pay for her now ,but he will!
She’s off to uni in sept.I’m a nurse so she will have access to a decent maintenance loan(but obviously will have to pay it back )
Exdh earns at least 4 times as much as me but has already told her he shouldn’t have to contribute more than me.
I’ve put money aside but it won’t last forever and I’ve got 2 more children.
Did your exdh give your child a monthly allowance?
Tia

OP posts:

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mummywantstobeslim · 04/03/2021 07:26

Now she's an adult he can legally do as he wishes. He can continue to help out or not at all.

JessBen · 04/03/2021 07:28

Are you sure she will have access to a good maintenance loan? If her dad earns 4x what you do + your income, it doesn't seem she is going to be eligible for that much

MrsBertBibby · 04/03/2021 07:49

Why is maintenance stopping at age 18? She is presumably still in school/college?

Iloverupertp · 04/03/2021 08:18

She finishes college in May and then uni in sept.She turned 18 last month

OP posts:

Rae36 · 04/03/2021 08:28

Dh kept paying while his kids were at uni and college, but paid directly to the kids. Their mum then took whatever she felt was fair for food and all when they were at home.
One is in her final year and no prospect of a graduate level job (for lots of reasons) so I'm not sure what will happen then.

MrsBertBibby · 04/03/2021 08:37

And is this maintenance voluntary, CMS or court ordered?

lottieree · 04/03/2021 08:44

If she's still at college he still should be paying. They are liable for maintenance until 19 while in further education. It doesn't stop on the 18th birthday.

Iloverupertp · 04/03/2021 08:48

It’s a court order.I would need to check the paperwork but I’m sure it states it’s stops when she turns 18
At the time I tried to extend it but was told it’s unusual to get child maintenance past 18 yrs

OP posts:

purplebagladylovesgin · 04/03/2021 08:49

@JessBen maintenance loans for uni are based on the income of the resident parent. It's not a joint assessment of income.

Darker · 04/03/2021 08:54

My ex stopped at 18. Didn’t help them through uni.

MrsBertBibby · 04/03/2021 08:56

You can ask the CMS for an assessment. CMS maintenance is payable until the end of August for kids doing A levels.

Iloverupertp · 04/03/2021 09:02

I don’t want to go down the CMS route.We’ve already been back to court twice so don’t want to add fuel to the fire !
I would prefer him to directly give her the money.He’s not an easy person to deal with.

OP posts:

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/03/2021 09:07

It should stop in May when she finished Higher Ed not on her 18th birthday.

Post that if she decides to go to Uni it's up to him if he supports her.

MrsBertBibby · 04/03/2021 09:08

Well if you order has expired, CMS is your only option, and they don't backdate.

I would check the order, it should say 18 or finishes FTE whichever is the later, but it may have been badly drafted.

I'm a family solicitor btw.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 04/03/2021 09:09

@JessBen

Are you sure she will have access to a good maintenance loan? If her dad earns 4x what you do + your income, it doesn't seem she is going to be eligible for that much

Student loans are based on the resident parent's household income only so her dad's salary won't be taken into account. That was the case when I applied anyway, ten years ago now so may have changed!

Iloverupertp · 04/03/2021 09:40

I’ll check the consent order-Thank you
Maintenance loan is just based on my salary so will get near maximum amount

OP posts:

Londonnight · 04/03/2021 09:49

My ex did this. As soon as our son was18 and no longer in full time education he stopped paying. If he had had his way son would have left school at 16 and gone out to work. He totally resented the extra two years he had to pay.
Like you I paid for everything for my son, ex never offered any extra help at all, even the endless hospital visits I had to do which cost a fortune in petrol and parking.
Son is going to uni this year, there is no way ex will help out at all as he doesn't agree with further education --- he is of the mindset "I left school at 16 and it didn't do me any harm" brigade Never stops to think that it was far easier then to get a job than it is now.

JessBen · 04/03/2021 12:23

@purplebagladylovesgin I recently graduated and have no contact with my parents. I was told that unless I can prove I hadn't been in contact with them for over 12 months, which I could not, they would need to show proof of income. Was I lied to?

JessBen · 04/03/2021 12:27

Just looked and honestly you're probably right. Mine was an odd situation where I was disowned in final year. I technically didn't live at their address but their income still counted even though I had no contact with them. So I assumed it was both parents as mine were not living at my same address

minniemoocher · 04/03/2021 12:35

My exh gives me maintenance, I pay for the kids allowances etc. They don't qualify for anything other than the basic loan due to their dads and my dp's respective salaries

minniemoocher · 04/03/2021 12:37

Ps private arrangement because he knows he would be ordered a shed load more in spousal maintenance if it went to court!

AtSwimTwoBerts · 04/03/2021 12:38

Yet more letting twatty fathers off the hook! She didn't cease to cost any money on her 18th birthday. Somebody still needs to house her and feed her and support her through college, and yet again thats the mother, with no obligation on the far richer dickwad father to contribute.

Fucking lovely

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thebestever · 04/03/2021 14:01

I am in a similar situation. My ex has said that he will cease to pay child maintenance after August (my DS turns 18 in July and is in sixth form), but will then help him out directly financially through university to the tune of the same amount or possibly a bit more.

However this will mean I can't pay the mortgage so will have to move (we have a younger DD so the maintenance will halve, from £1500 to £750 per month.

He has been having my DS stay with him on/off every week during lockdown, and I think there's a higher likelihood my DS will stay with him during some university holidays (but not all).

Can he do this? We had a court order for global maintenance but when the spousal element of that ceased, I went through the CMS (although not the collection service).

minniemoocher · 04/03/2021 14:24

@thebestever

Really your ds should then pay maintenance to you for the weeks he's at home, it will be less but might help.

MrsBertBibby · 04/03/2021 14:25

It shouldn't halve it should drop from 16% to 12% of income.

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