Reasons given are lies- what next?

[Bepawsome]

Trying to help a friend going through a difficult divorce.

Finances are all sorted, house sold, no kids involved. He left her for a younger woman.

He has sent papers to her even though she had said she would divorce him. He’s gone for unreasonable behaviour and has listed 2 pages of reasons, some going back as far as the start of their 20 odd year marriage, it’s all very strange.

She doesn’t want to sign them because they are so outrageous, twisted half truths and some downright lies.

My worry is she will spend money she doesn’t need to spend and it won’t get her anywhere. I can’t understand why she doesn’t want to sign, but she does want to be rid of him. She is hurting, the whole thing blindsided her and this is just another kick in the teeth.

Can she ignore it? Contest it? Agree to divorce but not to the reasons?

Thank you in advance.

[StephenBelafonte]

Yes sign it, no one ever sees it so it doesn't matter.

[millymollymoomoo]

Just state that they aren’t accurate but you won’t contest
No one will know and frankly no one will care

[Bepawsome]

Thanks both. I’ll try and talk to her. So frustrating, lies upon lies upon lies and more hurt.

[OverTheRubicon]

She gets to write a page refuting it all if she wants, then can sign and be done with the bastard.

[toobusytothink]

Honestly - just sign it. No one knows what’s in it. It’s horrible for her to have to read it but it saves her the hassle of doing it herself and she can just get it over with.

[Dayafterday]

She will be advised by her solicitor not to contest it.

[MooseBeTimeForSummer]

Has the petition actually been issued or is it a draft? I’m wondering if he’s doing it himself as I’m not sure a decent solicitor would list so many reasons. “First, worst and last” usually covers it.
If he’s not claiming costs she should just let it proceed. It’s a means to an end.

[Bepawsome]

You may well be right @MooseBeTimeForSummer. The document I have seen is just called “Particulars of behaviour”, 2 A4 stapled sheets listing 9 separate things, each several lines.

My own divorce was 4 sentences.

[Bepawsome]

It was from his solicitor... so he has paid for their time to list 2 pages of grievances in his marriage for 20+ years, some of them even predating the marriage. Things like her changing her job and him “having to support her finacially”... yeah because he was the higher wage earner and she was looking after his 3 kids.

I think I have persuaded her to write her response so he knows she thinks is bollocks but sign the papers and be done with him.

Thanks for the input everyone

[blisstwins]

Tell your friend to check out Chump lady and greyrock. He wants a rise from her. The absolute best thing she can do is have no reaction. Get the divorce done. It doesn't matter. She needs to invest no more emotional energy in him or his narrative. Good for her and will make him nuts.