Talk

Advanced search

Going to court for contact proceedings, father taking me but don’t know what to ask for?

(10 Posts)
Namechange1983 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:29:59

So mid December is the first court case. I’m sitting here trying to think of the line to draw. It’s been a year since he has seen dd who is 4, many welfare and safely issues plus long history or DV. I stopped contact.

I personally don’t want him to have any, there is not a single thing he can bring to her but I know this is unrealistic. She has a right to see her father in a safe manor.

Now the thing is what is this safe manor? Any contact he has he has already told me via email he will be telling her what a monster her mother is. Nothing I agree on will make her safe in the long run. What should I be thinking when they ask what contact I’m thinking about? Or does it not even matter as he will get it anyway.

OP’s posts: |
endofthelinefinally Tue 17-Nov-20 13:33:28

You need all the written reports from SS, police, nursery/ school etc.
The most he should get is supervised contact in a centre. Surely SS have made a recommendation.
You need every bit of evidence you can muster.

Namechange1983 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:47:14

Social services did not got involved or the school. I asked for help and was just told to cease contact if I was concerned, which I did.

I reported him to the police a few times at the beginning and have IDVA and maracs done plus all his awful emails and texts.

OP’s posts: |
Namechange1983 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:48:34

I have a safeguarding interview next week. She told me they would be seeking for the evidence for this from the police. Do I still need to get them also?

OP’s posts: |
DelilahDingleberry Tue 17-Nov-20 13:50:08

If you have in writing that he is going to tell your child that you’re a monster, I would be saying direct contact is inappropriate, or at best it should be supervised and interim contact should be assessed before final arrangements are discussed.

Elvesinquarantine Tue 17-Nov-20 13:52:32

Print off text messages op. Write a timeline of his behaviour..

ILoveYou3000 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:54:58

Any contact he has he has already told me via email he will be telling her what a monster her mother is

Have you kept this email? I'm pretty sure this would be classed as parental alienation, which the courts won't take kindly to at all. With this alone I'd say you have a case for requesting supervised contact initially. Added to that the length of time since he's seen her, for your daughter's sake it will need to be a slow build-up.

You need to show the only thing you care about is the welfare of your daughter and doing what is in her best interests. Which it sounds like you are.

Namechange1983 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:55:54

How do I get the police records?

Can I get the details of the MARAC assessment?

Sorry lots of questions

OP’s posts: |
Namechange1983 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:57:37

Yes I have that email, he has said this 3 or 4 times. Last time he said he will make sure she doesn’t turn out like me. She doesn’t want to turn out like him.

OP’s posts: |
Namechange1983 Tue 17-Nov-20 13:58:22

Sadly like me she is already traumatised sad but we are doing our best.

OP’s posts: |

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in