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Divorce regret or emotions turmoil

(4 Posts)
JLE38 Tue 17-Nov-20 12:47:40

Hi I am after some advice as I am at the point of despair with my emotions.

I was with my ex husband for 17 years married for 10, about 2 years ago we stopped talking we slept in separate rooms and really just realised we had grown apart.

We seperated about a year ago we had no relationship in the year nothing we just co existed.

We spoke at length and I managed to rent a house about a mile from our home, we spoke with our children 16 and 9, and although I might not see my 16 year old as much as I would want to she is at college has a boyfriend and a little part time job.
Our 9 year old is happier he said it's nicer now you and daddy don't shout all the time.

I met someone through work in March he is divorced and he is an amazing man, he does not live with me me and my ex husband Co parent so when my son is here overnight etc he does not stay.

I found out I was pregnant 7 weeks ago nearly 13 weeks. I'm am pro life so terminating has never been a option, shocked as I was on the pill. Actually when I spoke to gp I asked how this could happen as I had spent years on the pill with my ex husband and no accident.

Partner at first was taken back but now is fully behind the pregnancy and we have spoke about him moving in after the new year.

But I am not sure if it's hormones or a realisation, I was dropping my son home a few days ago his due back tonight, and he said when I am at your house and his sister is out, he sits in all alone and is lonely.

My ex husband I thought was the love of my life, I used to say I could not imagine life without him, and we just grew apart he is and always has been an amazing dad, we tried counselling alsorts but our marriage was emotionless.

I had the thought of him sitting home alone and I felt terrible like I wanted to write him a letter asking to meet and speak, all these emotions came rushing back for him like why can't we try again.

I do feel deep feelings for my partner and I do love him, feel like this has been growing like any normal relationship, but I can say I do not love him how I loved my husband.

Prior to my son saying about him being lonely I was happy, looking forward to this new chapter of my partner moving in and we have spoken genuinely heart felt about our future together.

Please any advice, is this normal is this hormones.

Sorry about the length.

OP’s posts: |
LauraBassi Tue 17-Nov-20 12:56:18

It’s hormones and regret that the marriage didn’t work out. Which is totally fine.

I feel really sad that exdh and I split up but I definitely don’t want to get back with him.

We had grown apart and completely lost the spark. That can’t come back.

In your situation now your pregnant with another mans baby, is it really fair to ask him to take responsibility for it. To be a step dad? He might tell you to piss off leaving you feel even worse.

You don’t know he is feeling lonely, he might be enjoying the peace.

This would be way to messy.

If your not that in to the relationship with the new bloke - end it. That too will make you miss the relationship you once had with your ex.

Redcliff Tue 17-Nov-20 14:35:18

I agree - hormones can play such havoc and mess with your mind. Moving on can be exciting and scary all at the same time - good luck with everything

Raver84 Wed 18-Nov-20 10:32:08

Oh I feel for you but I think you have to moce on now from any hope you marriage can be put back together. Try to make things work with your new partner and baby. Do your children know about the baby?

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