Hi,
I never thought I would be someone who asked for advice like this online but I have no one else to talk to and would really like some advice or help please.
I am not happy in my relationship, in fact I feel quite miserable. Been with my partner for 6 years, living together for 5 and we have a 14 month old. There are no serious issues - I mean no abuse/controlling/cheating or anything. I am just not happy.
I own the flat and pretty much pay for everything and I always have done. Looking back I regret this because I made it easy for him. He was working (self employed) before covid making ok money but apart from halving some bills, I never saw any of it. He saw it as his money. I pay for most things including all things baby related. Since covid he has lost his job so depended completely on me since March. Recently got a new part time job but one that doesn't pay as much. My worry here is that he will not be able to afford his own place or afford rent. He saved no money from his previous job, I mean nothing at all despite the fact he has a child. This has really bothered me and I find it irresponsible as my son is my number 1 priority. He seems to think it's fine for me to fund everything.
When it comes to parenting, I see him not as an equal but as an occasional babysitter. He doesn't get up with the baby, doesn't think about what to feed the baby etc. If he worked then fair enough but he was unemployed from March to September.
I just feel so unhappy and can't accept that this is my life forever now. Before we had a baby, promises were made about things he would do but not one of them has happened.
The thing stopping me is that I don't know where he will go as without me he would have no money. I also feel really guilty about upsetting him. I can't believe he is happy in this relationship though and I wonder if he's staying because he doesn't have anywhere to go. We basically just coexist in the same flat. We don't do anything together really, he sits in one room and I'm in the living room. I'm finding myself starting to resent him and getting really annoyed by him and I don't want to feel like this.
I don't know how to bring it up or tell him. How do you even start the conversation?! He can be petty and I really hate the thought of confrontation. We don't really argue or fight, it just doesn't feel like a relationship to me. I worry that I'll still be in this situation in years to come.
Sorry if this has been a bit jumbled, I hadn't really planned what to say before typing.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and has any advice for me?
Thank you
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Divorce/separation
I want to break up but feel stuck. Help/advice please!
56 replies
k2331 · 26/10/2020 23:14
OP posts:
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