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Divorce/separation

Help with filling in field for Unreasonable Behaviour please - how much detail?

16 replies

Sandgrain · 22/10/2020 12:15

I am filing for the divorce on my own, I'm wondering how detailed should the information be? Does anyone have any examples they could paste from their own divorce.

I thought just bullet points would be OK but a friend said that I need to include details and examples rather than say, there's a toxic environment at home. Is this needed? It seems intrusive and also unnecessary? (The divorce isn't contested)

OP posts:
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explorerdog · 22/10/2020 12:16

Examples were needed for mine 18 years ago

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RandomMess · 22/10/2020 12:54

Have you had a google, try to avoid anything to contentious.

Someone on legal has posted a list with examples before but no idea how to find it.

I would think there are things on google that you can adapt.

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waterSpider · 22/10/2020 20:48

Can include all kinds. Depends on whether the ex is basically agreeable to the divorce - and hence it is just a bit of a 'hurdle' to jump - or if there are bigger issues.


He does not support me pursuing my interests (and I do not support him doing his). For example we argue if I want to (e.g.) go for a long cycle ride.
We never say that we love each other.
He spends a lot of time away from the house, when I have asked him not to.
We no longer want to have sex with each other.

That kind of thing.

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Familylawsolicitor · 26/10/2020 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointythings · 27/10/2020 11:19

Familylawsolicitor has it in a nutshell. This is how I did mine. I did 4 examples, but the first was his alcohol addiction and associated behaviour and that was a biggie.

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ClumsyAnnabel · 27/10/2020 11:20

The first thing, the last thing, and the straw that broke the camels back is how my solicitor summed it up.

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Raver84 · 27/10/2020 18:35

I did mine recently it was. My husband has done x, it made me feel y.
I did 5 examples. All no more than a couple of sentences each one.

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Survived1 · 08/11/2020 21:45

I have put doestic violent that happend yeats ago (no police record) however I have been told that I have to go to court for that as a sparate matter. U was gut smack

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TirisfalPumpkin · 12/11/2020 11:54

"The first thing, the last thing, and the straw that broke the camels back "

My solicitor advised the same :)

I put

  1. his lack of domestic contribution
  2. his emotional abuse and aggression
  3. his cheating and paying young women for sex


It felt a bit of an odd order as the last one was obviously the catalyst for the divorce, but apparently that's the way to do it. I gave approximate or specific dates, where I knew them, and added a 'that made me feel...' sentence to each.
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RandomMess · 30/12/2020 18:35

.

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BaskingMad · 02/01/2021 13:22

I did 3 examples, sent to dh to read in case there’s something he strongly objects to.

1- no sex and sleeping in separate rooms for x years, no desire to resume sex life. No socialising together

2- no help with household chores and how stressed and upset this makes me feel

3- incompatible views on financial risk- his is high, mine is low. Examples of this and elaborated how it affected my sleep and wellbeing.

Went through with no problems.

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OhamIreally · 02/01/2021 19:23

I used one which was advised to me: does not join in with family life. An example of this would be when we eat dinner he will take his to the sofa and leave the family at the table.

I did all my reasons this way: headline; example; how this made me feel.

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EmmanuelleMakro · 11/01/2021 02:28

I an so relieved to hear this. I am just embarking on this process snd have been terrified about how much to write as it is just so humiliating.

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CryingHelps · 19/01/2021 01:59

Top tip - don't be embarrassed, they've seen it all before.

  1. After an argument he swiped a recently boiled kettle off the worktop at me and I was scalded.
  2. He tipped me out of bed in the middle of the night and swore at me.
  3. He claimed to not have any money so I had to pay all the bills and then he went out and brought a car, for himself.

    You have to give specific samples, approx dates, not just generalising.
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twosmallbuttons · 19/01/2021 23:58

@EmmanuelleMakro I started a thread about this recently too. 2 weeks ago I filed the application online, the following week got the email to say it'd been accepted.
Actually my reasons were quite general in nature, eg not sharing a bed/no sex for years, bad communication, no socialising, and saying unkind things to me in front of the DC. It did it this way mostly so that STBEX would agree to it, which he did.

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PasturesN3w · 09/02/2021 17:00

I was told to put about 5 simple sentences like:

My husband worked all the time, I felt neglected.
We did not have a physical relationship, I felt unloved.

They really don't need an essay or anything too dramatic. The fact that my STBX hid money in a secret account for years was not admissible so I chose another point - which went something like.

My husband was always on line, I felt totally ignored.

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