Child maintenance and childcare

[missha20]

I want to separate from my husband as find out very unpleasant information last week so was really upset but now doing my research on possible options before main conversation. He is got anger management issue so it is going to be "hard brexit" for me so I am preparing mentally and financially. We have 7 ye child and absolute zero childcare except the paid one, we both work full time but of course his job is more important (as he been saying to me for years) so he never been involved in dropping/picking our kid to nursery and school and holiday clubs. During these years he never did any chores at home as well so was concentrated on his carrier while I had to sacrifice a lot of good job opportunities as had to work around nursery/breakfast/afterschool hours and distance. Now he is high earner so I will need to discuss child maintenance while separating. My question is so CM meant to cover all costs or not? I know how it is calculated but wondering why would I pay all childcare if he refuses to look after our child during school holidays at all, not mention breakfast and afterschool club costs. I am trying to find a ground of negotiations with him so what is your thoughts to it?

[TheFormidableMrsC]

You need a solicitor and mediation. You can immediately apply to the CMS too. However, they are running a skeleton service currently. I would use the CMS calculator online to work out what he should pay based on his salary. Wishing you luck during what is bound to be a very difficult time

[Sanch1]

Yes in the eyes of the law if you are the main carer and he pays you maintenance then that is supposed to cover all costs in your time. Shit but true. The amount my ex gives me didn't even cover one day a week of one of my dd's childcare let alone both!

[Edinburghfalls]

Yes it is meant to cover all costs.
My friend got an agreement which said she would get an additional amount until child was at school. And then a certain amount extra once at school.

But it’s a case of picking your battles. She was adamant about that and spent ages fighting for it. But whilst they fought over it he adjusted the Proceeds from sale of the house from 70% in her favour to 55% and she just agreed quite quickly. That 15% was worth more than £50k. So perhaps see it as part of an overall settlement.
I have another friend whose partner agreed to spousal maintenance for 3 years.

[Nicknamegoeshere]

How much custody is he going to have? He probably isn't going to go for it, but if it's 50/50 he doesn't have to pay a penny (regardless of salary).

[missha20]

Thanks all, I will try to negotiate child maintenance without CMS as they charging 24 % on top for service fee so considering my husband is high rate taxpayer it will cost him a lot "extra".

[cheesecrack]

Yea it’s awful.

My ex has just paid a pitiful amount for the ten years we’ve been separated. He’s bitched and whined about every penny.

He is pissed off as my 2nd husband earns more than him.

I have to remind him who is their father.

It’s a shitty system.

[unicornsarereal72]

You only pay extra cms if you go for direct pay.

One child is 12% of his salary after pension contributions. And goes down by a 7th for each overnight he has a week.

If you agree an amount and he pays you directly cms will not take any of that amount.

If he doesn't pay and you request them to take the money directly from him at source. He will be charged 20% of the amount he is paying you for their trouble. And deduct 4% of the amount you receive.

[Tryingmybest2]

Missha20,

If your ex partner earns less than £3000 gross per week you have 2 options

1- Private arrangement to be agreed between yourselves

2- CMS (child maintenance service) arrangement - one child = 12% NRP’s gross income, minus 1/7th per overnight care. The 20 +4% fee you talk of is only relevant if NRP fails to pay & is put into the collect & pay service.

Note - CMS have jurisdiction below 3K per week income, any court order obtained during divorce proceedings can be overruled after 12 months

[LemonTT]

You can agree to pay more maintenance than CMS as part of the agreement. But!

After a year he can apply to revert to CMS. Don’t negotiate away cash now for a promise he will pay extra maintenance of any kind without legal advice. He can get out of that. Plus you are reliant on him continuing to be a high earner on PAYE. That could change, uncertain times and all that.

[missha20]

thanks everyone, I got in now about 24% -read it all wrong.