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Aibu re recently separated H and laundry

(17 Posts)
Doyouknowwhat Tue 08-Sep-20 19:59:07

I know this isn't aibu, but it seems a better place to post. I really don't know if I am being unreasonable or not and I'd appreciate some opinions.
H moved out 3 weeks ago. He still comes to the house every weekday to do childcare and the school run whilst I work.

He has been doing the laundry. He says they are still his kids so he doesnt mind.

Am I crazy to mind? Surely someone doing my laundry is a good thing? But somehow it bothers me.

OP’s posts: |
Cupcakegirl13 Tue 08-Sep-20 20:06:22

Sounds like a dream come true to me ! You ready so many arsey ex husband threads on MN this sounds like the total opposite ! I hope it continues !

roundandsideways Tue 08-Sep-20 20:10:22

I would mind. Up them my ex would go through my stuff and have a nosey.
Do you have to rely on him for childcare?

Doyouknowwhat Tue 08-Sep-20 20:11:36

Yes, without him doing the school runs and school holidays I'd have to give up work completely

OP’s posts: |
slipperywhensparticus Tue 08-Sep-20 20:12:48

Kids washing only then not yours

TooMinty Tue 08-Sep-20 20:13:59

Doing the kids' laundry would be ok, but doing yours seems a bit weird. Does he have to look after them in your house, can't he take them to his own place?

frazzledasarock Tue 08-Sep-20 20:14:40

Why can’t he pick up the kids and look after them at his place?

I wouldn’t want an ex in my house anyway as I’d be suspicious he’s rifling thro my stuff have a good nosy.

I wouldn’t want him doing laundry if my clothes were with the kids clothes.

Doyouknowwhat Tue 08-Sep-20 20:14:42

I guess I could just get another basket and separate my stuff from theirs. It also means he has been in my bedroom.
Again,it was his room too for 20 years, so I shouldn't really worry about him going in there, but I just dont want him to.

OP’s posts: |
LookAtTheCahhOlivahhhhh Tue 08-Sep-20 20:14:59

Get your own dirty laundry in your room, with a lock on the door.

Doyouknowwhat Tue 08-Sep-20 20:15:31

He has moved into a flat share, so cant take them there. He even has to wear a mask in communal areas, apparently

OP’s posts: |
PlateTectonics Tue 08-Sep-20 20:16:31

This honestly wouldn't bother me OP. But if it bothers you, try asking him not to do yours before you start putting on locks and things.

TooMinty Tue 08-Sep-20 20:17:23

Going into your bedroom to get it is definitely weird, put a stop to that!

gamerchick Tue 08-Sep-20 20:19:47

Get a doorknob with a lock in it so up can lock your bedroom door.

This plan can't go on indefinitely, one of you will move on eventually. Youll need to sort something else.

Doyouknowwhat Tue 08-Sep-20 20:19:55

He still hasnt cleared all his.stuff from the house, so he will need to go into all.the rooms to do that. I just wish he would hurry up.
I boxed up loads of it at the weekend and he in the loft cos he has nowhere for it to go.
And he still owns half the house so I've been advised that he can come and go as he likes and leave as much stuff there as he wants.

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Tue 08-Sep-20 20:21:41

I think you need to put in place some ironclad boundaries now. He is welcome to help out with the kids' laundry, but yours and your bedroom is off limits. Put a lock on the door if necessary. I think him snooping is a very real possibility.

thisisexhausting Tue 08-Sep-20 20:22:11

Yes this would bother me. I'd be separating my clothes from the kids so he washes only their clothes.

Happynow001 Thu 10-Sep-20 06:28:12


Get your own dirty laundry in your room, with a lock on the door.

Absolutely this! If he has stuff in your bedroom move it to a different location (spare room? If no spare room box up and put in one of the children's rooms/garage/loft - with help from a friend if necessary.

You are not locking him out of the whole house, just your personal space. 🌹

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