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When is the right time to sell an engagement ring?

(21 Posts)
9millioncansofbeans Sun 23-Aug-20 12:26:44

I’ve been separated for over two years. The divorce is going through. I know deep down we won’t ever get back together and I feel like it might be time to sell my ring but the thought of doing so makes me very emotional. It just feels though like the longer I keep it the more I hold on to the idea of us.
I’m having to have them valued every couple of years for the home insurance as they are worth a lot of money. I have no one to pass it on to.
Will it just always be emotional to sell so I should just do it?

OP’s posts: |
Hettyispink Sun 23-Aug-20 17:34:46

Basically it’s a very personal thing...

My Ex has an affair for years and I hated him by the time we divorced, so it was easy. I needed the money and I hated having my rings in the house. I sold them and took my kids on holiday. It was a relief.

BuffaloCauliflower Sun 23-Aug-20 17:38:32

I can’t advise on timing, thought I wouldn’t rush into it if there’s no need. But do be aware you’re very unlikely to sell it for it for anything close to what its valued at on the insurance. That’s the replacement value if it gets nicked, not the selling value. Jewellery usually has crap resell value.

Hettyispink Sun 23-Aug-20 17:46:49

Agree with above - I was offered nowhere near the value by dealers / second hand shops. I sold mine on eBay! I decided prices and put them on ‘buy it now’, I just dropped the price gradually and they sold eventually.

But honestly, you’ll know when it’s time.

If you have issues having them in the house could you give them to someone reliable for safekeeping?

9millioncansofbeans Sun 23-Aug-20 17:56:21

I was told by a jeweller in February to expect 10% of the insurance value. So it’s not really about the money. It’s more that I feel while i hold onto them there is a hope and a tie/hold.
But selling them is such a one way street.

OP’s posts: |
seperatedmummy Mon 24-Aug-20 14:26:26

I went to 4 jewellery shops and was offered very low prices for my wedding and engagement rings. I put them on Facebook marketplace for double what I was offered. Had loads of stupidly low offers but stuck to my price and got the full asking. A year after I left him. No regrets. smile

ExtremelyBoldSquirrels Mon 24-Aug-20 14:33:15

You don’t have to sell them (now or ever) if you don’t want to.

It doesn’t have to be about ‘holding on to the idea of us’- it might just be that they represent a significant aspect of your life so far and you want to hold on to them (for now, or as long as you like).

Given that you wouldn’t replace them, you can probably just stop insuring them entirely (certainly don’t get them valued).

You will know if or when you do want to sell them. But there’s no rush or obligation.

AnotherDFSsale Mon 24-Aug-20 14:35:29

Sold it within a month and booked a holiday grin

premiumshoes Mon 24-Aug-20 14:39:25

The presence of a ring makes no odds really. Whether you have it or not nothing changes in terms of the relationship, if it did change the ring still wouldn't be a factor. I would sell it ASAP

I chucked mine in the bin outside Tesco the day I decided to end it grin

wheresmymojo Mon 24-Aug-20 14:40:44

You could have them melted down and (with the stones) have a new piece of jewellery made.

It could be quite cathartic.

Imagine that the small scratches, etc that will be on the surface of the gold from wear will dissolve away representing the that the challenging parts of your marriage can be left behind.

In its place is a new piece of jewellery representing the good memories and wisdom/life lessons learned that you are choosing to take forward into the next, new phase of your life.

OwlBasket Mon 24-Aug-20 14:41:05

Maybe you could have them remade into a bangle, or earrings or something. You’d might need a bit more gold but it could be a way of letting go and moving on without seeking to erase the past.

OwlBasket Mon 24-Aug-20 14:41:26

Ha. X post

wheresmymojo Mon 24-Aug-20 14:41:57

Great minds grin

Glendaruel Mon 24-Aug-20 14:45:49

Still have mine and it's been over 15 years.

Ninkanink Mon 24-Aug-20 14:45:56

Yes I was going to suggest having a goldsmith make you a beautiful new piece to symbolise your new life.

flowers Divorce is rough.

ThatLibraryMiss Mon 24-Aug-20 14:51:04

I had my three-stone diamond ring made into a pendant and earrings for my daughter's 18th birthday.

unicornsarereal72 Tue 25-Aug-20 08:06:55

I gave mine back to my ex. They were given To me as a promise of love. He broke that promise. So the rings have no significance to me. He did leave them behind but I returned them to him again. It is up to him what he does with them. I hope he keeps them for our daughter but I expect he sold them for the drink/coke habit he developed.

Flirtythirty30 Tue 25-Aug-20 09:21:23

I felt really sad at the thought of selling my rings too. I sold them about a year after splitting up (amicable split). I think for me at any time it would have been a hard thing to do. I think it’s so hard because the rings are so symbolic. In the build up to doing it, I felt really sad as I thought somehow that I would be sort of handing over my marriage, if that makes sense?

But within moments of handing them over, you realize as premiumshoes said, in reality nothing about the status of your relationship has altered at all and you just have some more money in the bank and a sense of relief that the issue of what to do with the rings is not hanging over you anymore. I really felt great afterwards like a weight had been lifted and proud of myself that I had taken control.

Good luck. You are stronger than you know x

9millioncansofbeans Tue 25-Aug-20 10:07:23

@Flirtythirty30 that’s exactly how I feel. I know they are just material items but they are symbolic.

I’ve thought a lot lately and I also think I know he wouldn’t want me to sell them so that’s subconsciously affecting me. Which means I should do it as it’s a hold that he has over me

OP’s posts: |
Iyiyi Thu 27-Aug-20 18:36:42

I sold mine when our divorce was officially in process, about 3.5 years after we’d split. I only got about £70 for all three and I used it towards spending money at Disneyland Paris. I would have sold them earlier if they were worth more!

StoneColdBitch Thu 27-Aug-20 20:46:11

I took my rings off within a couple of days of leaving my ex. I've actually kept my engagement ring to pass on to my daughter one day, as it's a bit unusual and could be worn as a fashion piece rather than an engagement ring. I sold my wedding ring just over a year after the split. I wasn't hanging onto it for sentimental reasons - selling it sooner just wasn't practical.

It's a deeply personal decision. I initiated my divorce, so I felt very different than I would have if I'd been madly in love with a husband who ended things unilaterally.

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