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Did you ask your solicitor this?(4 Posts)
I'm getting ready for mediation which we will hopefully be in a position to start reasonably soon. I have an idea from my solicitor as to what settlement I should go for, but since I will have a more detailed meeting with her before the start of mediation I was thinking about what questions to ask.
Is it wise to ask her what she would advise my ex if he was her client? I know this could have a lot of very variable answers but I mean this in terms of me going in and being prepared not only for what I want to get out of this but also for what he might be expecting as well.
What tips and information is it useful to go in armed with? What should I ask my solicitor before I start?
Mediation is about coming up with the best outcome taking into account all parties involved, both of you and children. The mediator will be trained to guide you to solutions rather than divisions. If at all possible I would highly recommend speaking to your ex ahead of the formal session and trying to amicably discuss what you both are aiming for - if he wants a clean break and the kids 50/50 and you want spousal maintenance and the kids most of the time, your mediation session won't go anywhere.
We've been separated for several years already and he has the kids every other weekend (mostly). I doubt that will change as he is a bit of a workaholic and enjoys his own personal life. I'm happy with that. Child maintenance is already being paid but will need to be upped a little although since it's based on a particular set of facts it's not somethign he can really argue with. So really its the house (which I live in with the kids currently), savings etc and spousal maintenance that will be up for discussion.
I already have an idea where my negotiating points are likely to be, I'm just wondering if he might have been advised something similar to me (albeit he'll be told the lowest point to aim for whereas I'll be coming from the highest with the aim to meet in the middle). It is, unfortunately, something I feel I want to talk to him about without the help of a mediator. We are civil but he can be very manipulative and controlling and I am considering doing the mediation in shuttle rather than face to face (although I might try that first and see how comfortable I feel about it).
Your solicitor will be trying to get the highest for you his will be trying to get the lowest ( that he has to hand over to you)
Both solicitors should be advising on where a fair outcome range could be
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