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Left husband - tips please

(11 Posts)
blackandwhite2020 Mon 17-Aug-20 21:14:17

So... left hubby after a looooooooong period of u happiness. I'm shit scared of the unknown but also empowered and it's absolutely the right thing to do.
Anyone have any tips that may help me when it comes to the next steps. For example I've heard I may need to make notes of everything when it comes to divorce, I've not done this but is this right?
Xxx

OP’s posts: |
keeponsmiling679 Wed 19-Aug-20 22:23:52

Hey,
I'm not sure what the correct etiquette is for break ups. So well done for taking that step and i'm really sorry you had to take it.
I'm new to this separation lark, my brain feels like i've already left the marriage but i haven't, so i'm trying to get as much knowledge as i can before i take that step.
I found a great website, recommended on here, the information pages are brilliant Www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

How are you doing today?

blackandwhite2020 Wed 19-Aug-20 22:47:26

What a great link, thanks so much!!
Yeah I feel okay in general, more worried about him as he has mental health issues but yeah so far so good, touch wood for me!
How are you doing? X

OP’s posts: |
keeponsmiling679 Thu 20-Aug-20 13:51:33

Thats good to hear.
Mental health issues here for H too, he's having a mental health assessment tomorrow for a personality disorder. He's definitely unstable and thats a concern of mine too, that he won't cope with us separating.
But i cannot carry on like this. I'm busy enjoying the calm moments and wishing away the bad ones hmm

blackandwhite2020 Fri 21-Aug-20 07:01:23

Oh my God same!! I feel so much more at peace! X

OP’s posts: |
minnieok Fri 21-Aug-20 07:34:29

My tip is to keep talking and keeps things as amicable as possible. Avoid solicitors unless necessary and only get an agreement in principle between you first if possible. They bleed you dry and are pretty useless in dp's case. I've gone for the file online option, so much simpler.

In my case we have an interim plan and agreed when to sell the house etc and sorted ongoing maintenance

blackandwhite2020 Fri 21-Aug-20 22:29:44

Thanks @minnieok , I've copied that and will save for later! Will check out the filing online xxx

OP’s posts: |
keeponsmiling679 Thu 27-Aug-20 17:48:00

Blackandwhite2020

How are you doing this week?

blackandwhite2020 Sat 29-Aug-20 05:33:55

@keeponsmiling679 honestly, alright, not 100% but alright. Its absolutely right but it's so hard, especially when he's come over to see the girls.

OP’s posts: |
blackandwhite2020 Sat 29-Aug-20 05:34:32

How are you doing? How did the assessment go? X

OP’s posts: |
keeponsmiling679 Sat 29-Aug-20 08:51:38

Glad you're ok. Must be so hard.
All calmish here, he was diagnosed with depression anxiety and emotional unstable disorder with borderline personality traits (as i suspected)
He is trying to be aware of his thoughts more and not flying off the handle and take himself off somewhere on his own if he feels it starting and is on medication.
So we'll see how long it lasts. I feel like i can't let my guard down because the good says always end in bad eventually, but i'm keeping busy confused

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