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Protecting home during relationship breakdown(1 Post)
I'm concerned about a family member and looking for ways to help her.
She's not married but has been living with this man for decades. He has been married before and has grown up children from that relationship. The relationship is breaking down but they haven't separated yet, and I am not sure whether they will and I have a feeling that this will rumble on for a long time.
She insists that he has not been physically abusive but he has certainly been emotionally abusive. There are also financial concerns, he seems unable to save any money and they are constantly struggling, she isn't a high earner but has been putting her own earnings into his business and using her savings to support them both because he is using his money paying bills for his adult children, and ex-wife as well as buying unnecessary items.
This has been rumbling on for years but with lockdown he seems to have hit self destruct. She is talking about leaving but hasn't made a decision or told him that it is over. They have also been given notice on their rented property.
The family are concerned for her. She has a job but very little in terms of security, no pension, living in rented etc. They want to try to help her by helping her to buy a house so that she has somewhere to live that is not dependant upon him.
I am on board with this but have some concerns about whether this will be as effective as they hope. Not too much of a problem if they end it forever and she moves into the new house alone with help to buy it from family, but I am concerned that she is still hoping that they can make things work if some of the financial pressures are eased.
I am worried that if she has this house and it is in her name she could still be vulnerable to financial and emotional abuse. I wouldn't want her to be pressured to use the house for security or for him to live there and get some sort of claim on the house, or for it to be taken into account in a bankruptcy.
Any suggestions on how to help protect her?
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