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Advice please on consent order - finances agreed

(17 Posts)
Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 09:39:06

We've already got our Decree Nisi, and have agreed finances between us as follows:
* Matrimonial home (he lives there, I am currently renting) - worth £375-400k, Mortgage (still in joint names) £175k - we've agreed £100k to me for my equity, and I come off mortgage/deeds - he pays fees for doing this
* His business - I'm a shareholder and director, never taken anything from it, Limited Co, supports him only (no employees) - I will sign over
* My 2 pensions - have CETV values, not worth much as first one was my first job where I earnt relatively little and left over 19 years ago second one is current job, only been there 4 years - I retain both
* His pension - very small - he keeps
* We had no savings, although both have built up some since separating - we just keep our own
* Both earn around the same
* 2 DC, one independent, one dependent, 50/50 shared care, no maintenance

We're both happy with this, luckily all is amicable now.

The issue - because of the way he pays himself (small salary and then dividends), he is struggling to raise the £100k via a remortgage to pay me. I am desperate to come off the mortgage so I can buy not rent, so have said if he can just get me off, I will sign the house over pending when he can pay me. I know this sounds odd and risky but....hear me out.

MIL (his DM) is 94, very frail, and in a care home. Will is joint executors (me and exH) - and split 25/25/25/25 between the 2 of us and our 2 DC. Currently this would be worth c£150k each (even with care home fees, with rental income and pensions, it's 'only' reducing by about £20k a year in total). I don't want this money - it feels wrong as we are divorcing, and I will split my share 3 ways. Obviously this doesn't form part of the divorce as she's still with us.

Should I agree to come off the mortgage and sign the house away without receiving my £100k - on the basis that as a joint executor he can't shaft me and not pay when the time comes as I would have to joint sign paperwork with solicitor at that time?

And does the settlement seem fair enough to get consent order agreed?

And finally - does the court then need to see evidence that he has paid me the £100k, or is us signing to say this is what we've agreed (even if then the money takes more months/years) ok?

Thanks in advance.

OP’s posts: |
millymollymoomoo Thu 23-Jul-20 10:41:55

The settlement of face value seems fair
However personally I’d say don’t come off the mortgage and sign over the house until he can raise the money to settle! You never know what’s round the corner and people and circumstances change
Protect your asset

FinallyHere Thu 23-Jul-20 11:08:50

Congratulations on your (mostly) amicable divorce. One way to keep it that way to to retain a fair balance of power.

Even if you are joint executors, what recourse would you have if he distributed the inheritance according to the will without paying the £100k he would owe you?

In the same way that good boundaries make good neighbours, it would not be a good idea for you to sign without payment.

Do many things might change, once you are divorced.

If you decide to go ahead, as so many posted do at least record the £100k he owes you as a loan from you to him to be repaid at the latest on his mother's death.

This could be done by the lawyer who does the conveyancing.

Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 12:28:30

If I don’t come off the mortgage and sign the house over, I can’t buy as I can’t get another mortgage - I hate renting when I am in a fortunate position to be able to buy, on paper.

But good points thank you - I assumed as joint executors (and I do have a copy of the will, so I know this is the case) that everything would have to be jointly agreed and distributed, so I effect I was ‘safe’. The loan agreement idea may work.

I do rightly or wrongly trust him to do the right thing, not least because we still co parent and I’m sure he wouldn’t want the mother of his children to not get what’s due! And I’m sure he wouldn’t want his friends and family knowing he shafted me grin

Selling the house sadly isn’t an option due to HS2, and he wants to stay there/it’s the kids first house (sentimental I know). We tried and failed 4 years ago to sell.

OP’s posts: |
Herbie0987 Thu 23-Jul-20 12:32:14

Do not rely on the will, it could be changed at any time

Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 12:38:53

Will can’t be changed - MIL has severe dementia and hasn’t a clue who anyone is or where she is, sadly. There is a Power of Attorney to exH but as I understand it that doesn’t mean he can apply to change the will?

OP’s posts: |
Dinosauraddict Thu 23-Jul-20 12:39:19

I agree with PP - your MIL can change that will at any time, including removing you as an executor!

Dinosauraddict Thu 23-Jul-20 12:39:46

Cross post sorry!

Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 12:40:54

She honestly can’t - she really has no capacity at all in light of her Dementia, which she’s had for 5 years.

OP’s posts: |
Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 12:41:10

X post from me too, sorry!

OP’s posts: |
MoreHairyThanScary Thu 23-Jul-20 13:01:40

Is there anyway you could have the£100,000 put as a charge on the house? With a time limit so if not paid by x date the house is sold?

Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 13:38:59

That sounds a good idea @morehairythanscary (love that name!) - would give me some legal backing I guess.

If we do the consent order based on the agreement, do the court then have to see the money being paid, or do they just take it we’ve agreed and it will happen?

OP’s posts: |
WiseUpJanetWeiss Thu 23-Jul-20 13:49:15

ExDH and I did something similar. A proportion of the money he needed to pay me to buy me out was deferred to his planned retirement age and it came to me a few years later out of his lump sum. This was written into the consent order.

However, I trusted him 100%. Terrible husband, lovely man.

WiseUpJanetWeiss Thu 23-Jul-20 13:50:53

Oh, and to answer your last question, no the court would only have got involved if he hadn’t paid me and I if had referred the matter to them.

WiseUpJanetWeiss Thu 23-Jul-20 13:52:19

“If I“... Can’t type today!

Freefalling123 Thu 23-Jul-20 14:11:28

Thank you @wiseupjanetweiss - that’s really good to know, I wouldn’t have trusted him 3 years ago, but we get on ok now and I honestly don’t think he’d shaft me.

OP’s posts: |
okiedokieme Thu 23-Jul-20 14:21:16

I went to a mortgage broker who found a company who took into consideration I still have an interest in the marital home (we aren't selling until after university is finished for kids) , is this a better option? Cost me extra stamp duty but will get back if situation changes in under 3 years (house sells or he buys me out)

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