Finance niggles - am I overthinking?

[Mimey]

For context, I am in Scotland. We are married, joint mortgage on our home, with one child primary school age. I am preparing to instigate a separation.
Apologies if this comes across as blunt and dry. I am struggling and keeping a kind of detached approach is helping at the moment. Despite reading lots of MN threads and the list from citizen's advice, I still am not entirely sure what "getting my ducks in a row" means in terms of money. It turned out my husband and I had different ideas regarding what "joint finances" means.
H is from another country and has kept his bank account there, which I have no access to and I don't know the balance of. Perhaps 1,000 at a guess, although I have no way of knowing. "We" tend to use this money on trips back there to visit family.
His parents gave us 50,000 Euro a couple of years ago that were intended for use on renovations on our house. This work hasn't taken place. I have no access to this money.
I have no idea how much H has in personal current account or savings. We each pay a similar amount into our joint account from where we pay household bills, etc. He had enough to have bought a (second-hand) vehicle and various parts over the past year or so.
I have about 14,000 in savings.
My question is - what should I do with it? Keep it in the savings account? Spend (some of) it? I would like a laptop. I have been reminded that our household laptop is "his".
H has only had a pension through work since it became compulsory for employers. I will have a teacher's pension when I eventually retire...
Unfortunately, H has been made redundant. I know a lot of people are (going to be) in this boat. His salary when he gets a job is likely to be half of what it was - nearer 20,000 than 40,000. Job hunting is challenging for him at the best of times and he is feeling sick at the thought of applying for a job that will be a lower salary. He also has specific ideas of what kind of work he would like to do/is capable of doing. I think he sees the cushion of the renovations money as reassuring and something to fall back. Which it is, but I feel it is removing the sense of urgency around finding work.
My head is spinning. What is a wise move? What should I not do?

[Mimey]

Meant to say - thank you in advance for reading and any advice! I have just plucked up the courage for this first post today.

[jigglypuffcookie]

Hi Mimey,

Have you had legal advice? You get 30minutes free.
You might want to look at a separation agreement which values all assets and savings at the time of separation (duration of marriage only). If you aren't entitled to legal aid it costs about £1000 to set up. I don't know much about it so would recommend speaking to a solicitor.
Good luck